I thought I'd just get that out of the way, up-front. No, I'm not bitter about it, and I'm just waiting for others to collaborate with.

Anyway, I'd like to try to rephrase what littlewhitedog said. Perhaps my words will seem crueler, but here it is: The world does not need your creativity. We may welcome it, but we don't need it. The global economy will hum right along into the ditch without it. The only valid justification for art is internal. Work as an artist, whatever the genre = win the lottery.

Accept this fact and you'll find that the weight of this decision vanishing. Flit from media to media without care, pleasing only yourself. Stagnate. Create elaborate sculptures, then smash them with a hammer until make one you can't bear to destroy. If you want to love, or hate your art freely, openly, naturally, then you must stop judging it for anything other than whether you enjoyed making it. As long as you think it should be judged for "quality", you will never be happy. Of course, this probably means you have to get a straight job.

The process of creation and rehearsal is all I need from music. I don't care about performance, or public success that much. Never did. (Not that that isn't fun...) Maybe that's why I have "failed", but I'm comfortable with it all. Now, does anybody in S. Korea need a skilled, creative bassist with a fair knack for arrangement?

Absolutely, I do not want you to be my lawyer. Now, if you're planning on going into corporate law, if you'll be defending big tobacco, say, then, great, be a lawyer. Just promise us that you'll never go into private practice. There's this thing called due diligence in law. Why would you think that you could ever properly serve a client? Find a job with less responsibility, and more oversight from a supervisor. In the end, you'll be happier, too. Don't worry too much about trying to fix yourself. Just organize your life to compensate for your weaknesses.

You know, I know this other person who is a lot like this. They found that a relationship with a hyper-Type-A, who didn't need them to do any planning or organizing beyond following orders, allowed them to finally move forward in life. That's probably a terrible idea, though. Definitely a co-dependent situation there, right?

I'm a little surprised that so far no one (here, in the SYA letters!) has suggested that the friend seems to have a substance abuse problem. All the other behavior fits... but the LW doesn't mention any drugs (including alcohol) directly. Maybe I'm off base, but I thought the idea should be thrown out there. I mean, the LW plans activities that won't be opportunities for use/abuse, and the friend changes them so that they are "parties". Looking back at my own history, I think I know what that is about. Still, CT's advice is in line with that thought.

On the other hand, this letter is obviously a fake.

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Well, I can't seem to post a comment without some kind of attempt at humor. Sorry.

Humans are not well-designed for intensive tasks like debugging code. Our brains just aren't wired to focus that intensely for long periods of time. It's an evolved survival mechanism that protects us from large predators, like tigers. Thus, to do that kind of work well, we must create a rhythm, a flow of concentration, where we can enter, exit and then reenter a state of focused concentration in an efficient manner.

No one ever taught me how to do this, but I've found it's needed in my job, too. (I'm a science editor...) What's the best amount of time that you can code, or debug, efficiently, without drifting? Figure that out first. Then, block off your time into segments for that work, separated by other periods where you absolutely do not code. Email for 10 minutes, then re-enter the coding space. This may seem inefficient, but the opposite is true. You avoid mistakes and increase your overall work-rate by avoiding attention-drift. The key to this, though, is figuring out how much time is needed to recharge, and having your boss be comfortable with your rhythm. I would think that a good manager in software engineering would be well aware of the need for this. Personally, I've found that I do my best work at the beach...

BTW, this kind of flow is present in all aspects of life (speaking as a Taoist). Social situations are much easier when you recognize that and don't fight the current so much.

About the wallet thing? Take all the crap out of it so that it will fit comfortably in your back pocket. You don't need all of it. Really. Get a soft wallet that will shape itself to your butt.

If the worst you've ever done, if the thing hanging over your head is calling someone, say, a cracker, then congratulations on being such a nice person. Really. Kids do dumb stuff; adults put it behind them. I wish my conscience was that clean. I think you just have to move forward with it. Let it be a reminder not to throw stones. A modicum of guilt, held in proper perspective, is not a bad thing. We shouldn't WANT to rest easily when current reality is so morally complex and obscure. Moral certainty always leads to evil IMHO. You are flawed, which means you are human. Relish it.

I love the "Earl" reference... also, this should be a post on Stuff White People Like. Wait, it already is, isn't it?