The worst part of this is that the LW doesn't see any value in sex except self-gratification. I don't think he's a porn addict, I think he's a pathological narcissist. I wonder if there are, as Cary suggests, deeper intimacy issues at work. Sex is all about his needs; his girlfriend apparently doesn't factor into his sexuality at all.

Therein, however, lies the path to salvation. He needs to finally learn what his true sex organ is. Also, I think he should perfect his tongue calisthenics. Make sex be about getting her off. Period. Learn to savor true intimacy and sharing. Then, that silicon on the computer screen won't be nearly as captivating.

Still this makes me want to skip out of work and go cuddle the wife.

Somehow, I think that might be in this LW's future. I think it's quite important that the LW never specifies the "sin". What kind of advice can anyone give you if they don't know the details of the situation? This seems like an attempt at self-justification when the axe is falling and the LW can't be bothered to get out of the way. Enjoy the job market. Oops; maybe I'm being too judgmental.

Hey, you know, this makes me want to not watch "The Devil Wears Prada" again.

One of the great joys of life in Korea is when you discover its "real" national food. No, it's not kimchi; people mostly just look at it and take symbolic bites. (I love me a good kimchi stew though, don't get me wrong, but you know it has nice big chunks of....PORK!)

Anyway, the real national food is thickly sliced pork belly freshly grilled at the table and eaten in the most manly way possible...chased by shots. While not smoke cured, this is the same meat we Americans love, and it is the center of the most common Korean meal. Oh, and let's not forget the steamed pork belly slices either. Good times, if you got chop-stick skills.

Show me a pig, and I'll kill it for us to eat. You get to scrub the bristles off.

In my line of work, we have a saying:

"Cynicism is the only defense against bitterness."

Recently, however, I have realized that this, while true, has an equally important corollary:

"However, sincerity is the only defense against despair."

Mike, I think it's clear you should focus on the second half for a while. To the celery guy, it's clear you've mastered the first part. Consider the second one a little, asking yourself, "Do I really know what despair is?" Then maybe you'll STFU.

Channeling CT... The Buddha teaches compassion for all living things.

Now, back to the bacon article.

Everyone seems to agree that CT is wrong here. OK. On the other hand, only one other practical option has been offered: accept that it's over. Maybe, though, that just doesn't offer enough drama, recrimination, and self-flagellation, so I'd like to make a modest proposal. Why not have a crazy affair? You should start hitting on your GF's BFF, or somebody at least fairly close. Get out of control. Get caught. Invite your GF to join you. What the hell, dude, you're going down in flames. Why not be the prick? It'll at least be an interesting story to tell your grandkids. It just might be what she needs to rekindle her interest. (In that case, I recommend entering the witness protection program.)

What a change from yesterday's column!

LW, I think you might be attacked quite a bit today. Sorry. I think that a big part of your problem is that these people are taking control of the conversation, and forcing you to enter territory you don't want to enter. They've put you in a place where almost all your conversational options are distasteful to you. Another person has suggested that you respond by simply rambling on, which I think is pretty good, but that's just too much work, and still leaves the onus on you to deal with the problem. So, I have another suggestion.

Lie. Instead of dealing with the inconvenient turn of the conversation, tell a lie that puts the other person into the conversational hot-seat. I started to list a few suggestions, but then I realized I was just showing off. Besides, you'll probably enjoy it more if you choose your own horrible disease to blame it on.

Here's the key point. When they start to get that frantic look in their eye, wondering how in the hell they got into this mess, getting all wound up to be sympathetic and supportive, bust out laughing. Belly laughs. Til you cry. Then apologize and buy them a coffee. And never deal with the hip/waist thing seriously, ever again.

Yes, you're right about this being a nice easy toss for CT, but we still have to give him credit for putting this one over the center field bleachers, not just blooping a Texas league single. Sometimes the man is good.

I am shocked, I say, shocked, to hear that everything posted on the internet is not really true. And what is this "photoshop", and what does that have to do with my collection of Laura Bush porn?

Actually, some of us do want to read garbage like this. Actually, though, I prefer the fake letters that aren't so obvious. As a critic of the asinine and irreverent, I'd have to say this was somewhat sophomoric. Just too over-the-top. It would have played a lot better to this crowd if, for example, instead of an erection, he had started crying uncontrollably, frightening the children. Then, the LW could expect a much "better" response.