Good fences make good neighbors.

Shoveling snow makes you...

In Alabama, we don't have to shovel snow, but we do have to survive those Faulknerian summer evenings, when the sun sets and leaves behind the heat, humidity, and hunger. Of course, most have AC now, which explains why fewer and fewer stoic Minnesotans are shoveling the driveway each year. They're down here learning to say y'all. Too bad they'll never know that feeling of insanity that comes from not being able to sleep night after night, never understand the desperate need to go out for a moon-lit swim with that tramp your mother told you to stay away from. How can we ever be the same country? Only the mosquitoes can join us.

Great essay.

In this context, doesn't epistemology mean just "arguing about the meaning of words"? How is this interesting? The part about consciousness was especially insipid. Let's see... even though reductionism has worked so far, and new tools are allowing us to understand more and more about brain function, we must accept that consciousness cannot be explained in this way, because it hasn't been done yet. And, also, quantum mechanics does not do away with causality, it includes probability with it. Now, the conjecture about quantum effects in the brain may or may not be valid, but that does not escape reductionism. See the ongoing research into quantum computing. (http://www.cs.caltech.edu/~westside/quantum-intro.html)

Let's see...what hot-button have we not pressed recently...Tomorrow, an article exploring the angst of a woman who chose to abort the un-born puppies her pit bull was carrying due to the risk caused by hip displasia. She uses this to reconnect to her daughter after falling out over remarks criticizing Sarah Palin's imperfect, flat, white butt.

Academic men can become spiritually emasculated due to the nature of the work and the feminizing pressures of the community. (No, I'm not a Republican. I did go to grad school, though.) The easiest explanation is Fight Club. LW: When did you last watch Fight Club? It's just an allegory, but it does suggest that we might need something different, something more physical and aggressive to balance our lives. A lot of men find this kind of release in sport; others do physical work. You sound like you need that in your life. Go find the edge of aggression in a friendly basketball game. Afterward, buy the other guys a beer and tell them about the bitch that ruined the last seven years of your life. Allow the possibility of rational, limited hatred. Only then will you be able to get over it.

@ rawhiteley: Actually, speaking for the Cary-haters, he did a good job on this one. I like the feeling map. I just wanted to suggest a way to fill in some of the territory.

After reading the LW and CT, I was sooo excited about my on-coming insightful post. Then I read the first three by Still Curious,girlieshow and Georgetown. You guys are jerks. Stealing all the good ideas. Middle school? Taken. Direct MYOB? Taken. Drama addiction? Taken. It's not fair. Now I should post some kind of devil's advocate response, but I just can't do it. Thanks again, guys.

It took me a long time to learn the difference between non-conformatism and anti-conformatism. Hey, we all want to be non-conformists. "I do my OWN thing." The problem is, if you make your decisions in opposition to those around you, you are still letting them control you. You aren't really free. You're reactionary. Remember, the world isn't a series of binary choices. You can pick "Fill in the Blank." The real non-conformist totally dismisses what others think and follows only that mystical internal drumbeat. After a while, you'll probably figure this out: The real non-conformists don't seem strange externally. They look like the rest of us. They have jobs, families, friends, etc. You need to redefine what strange means; you aren't even at the edge of the normal map yet.

Here's an idea...be really strange. Tell the two guys you want to establish a stable, long-term, polyandrous relationship. Talk it out with them.

There. That would be strange.

For me, the absolute worst part of my divorce (many years ago) was that I found myself responsible for our two dogs, but I was such a mess I couldn't take care of myself, much less the dogs. Sometimes it would be three days before I saw them again, that extra big bucket of food empty, their desperate happiness to see me, the pond slime growing on the bottom of the water bucket. Then, I would lie there in that yard, sobbing at the top of my lungs, and those dogs would lick me and pet me as I wondered if would be able to keep them alive, much less keep them happy. That was the last little piece of my heart to break. And I couldn't do it, but the gods took pity on me. Far better friends than I deserved stepped in and took on my responsibilities, and let me crawl up under the porch to see if I would live or not. And, finally, I did, and I'm happy. After 13 years, I'm just about ready for more dogs, too.

So, anyway, the only thing I'd add to CT's advice is this: Make a list of friends that you hope to be able to count on. Make it a long list because you just might find that some of those you put at the top won't belong there. On the other hand, you could learn to appreciate some others who you haven't thought about that much before. It's a great thing to know that you have a friend you can count on when you are at your worst. Learning who those friends are could be a silver lining in all this. Good luck.