When we lived on the African savanna, the last bit of daylight was a critical time. We had to find defensible locations and work together for protection against predators that loved to feast on helpless monkeys at night. Thus, our circadian rhythm evolved to include an emotional trigger to cause us to gather in packs and settle down as the night approached. You're just living in a monkey body. It's all good. BTW, a great way to deal with this feeling is to climb a tree. (With a friend is best.) Seriously. Try it; we're not as complicated as we think we are. A lot of the emotional problems people have can be alleviated by climbing trees. And, you, smirking at my comment there, when was the last time you climbed a tree? Loser. (Apologies to all non-smirkers.)

I have two points. First, cheating is not restricted to marriage; if he fears he will cheat, does that not logically mean that he is not proper BF material?

Second, CT is absolutely right about creating a dialogue about attractiveness and seduction in this context. Healthy relationships are based on sincere communication. Taboo topics can easily lead to fault lines in the relationship. Most men have been taught that it is disrespectful to your SO to acknowledge the attractiveness of another woman. We repress that, hide it and maybe eventually eroticize it. The forbidden fruit is sweetest. Honest dialogue about these things removes that secrecy; repression leads to secrecy leads to betrayal.

Along the same lines, women are often trained to downplay their long-term planning for a relationship because it tends to terrify immature boys. This is another taboo that must be broken. LW must lay out for the BF exactly why marriage is the direction they should move in. Tell him the whole 40~50 year plan. If he's really a keeper, he'll start contributing to the plan, not resisting it. If he doesn't engage, well, he is the one avoiding commitment. Why are you being so committed?

That means you're wrong. CT is wrong. Deal with it. Leave her alone. Move on. Learn. Actions have consequences. You were an ass. You lose.(But mommy always gives in when I pout...) There's only one thing that you can do to get her back: Invent a time-travel device and change the past. I don't mean that figuratively, either. Quit vet school and become a physicist. That's your only hope.

You are not a man, but you can still do some growing up. For your future female companions, I hope you do so.

Yeah, this was an obvious, Cosmo-type article. So I'm bored. I'm sad, however, because quite a few people seem to find it insightful. I mean, if you do, great, I'm glad you can read it. It's just sad that someone has to tell you something like this.

Men are good. Women are good. Men and women together are better. Adults can control their spontaneous urges. Being attracted, or attractive, is fun and confidence-building. It's all good.

BTW, how can a women know if a guy is suitable friend material? Simple! If he obeys the three-strike rule, then he's good. (Never give a woman a third chance to shoot you down. Corollary for women: Be nice the first two times a guy steps up to the plate with you. Don't throw him any chin music. If that doesn't make sense, you desperately need a straight male friend.)

Finally, what's the best way for you to develop a guy friendship? Again, simple! Learn to enjoy a spectator sport. Educate yourself about it. Just don't be a bandwagon jumper. Avoid all Boston, NY and LA teams, except maybe for the Clippers. College football is excellent, but not Notre Dame, USC or Florida. Be sure to go into graphic detail about how hot the athletes look in their uniforms. Guys love that. Learn to shoot free throws and play catch. Play, don't exercise. There you go. A rich and rewarding life full of guys who'll have your back.

to say that this is a great day in the SYA annals. Finally, a totally great, pointless yet humorous LW and a beautifully sincere yet flippant CT response. And, already, two outraged commenters and one confused post. Brilliant.

To the LW: One day you will need advice, and you won't ask for it. Another day, you won't need advice but will receive it. Then, on the third day, you'll helplessly follow bad advice and plummet into a spiral of shame and recrimination. Finally, you will encounter the Buddha in the marketplace. I think you know what to do there.

Saturday in Pohang in the ROK there was a fabulous fireworks festival at the beach. They say there were 600,000 visitors. And the evening began with the most absurd, hyper-sincere post-karaoke-type music that ever existed. The only responses possible were rage or glee. Tens of thousands of Korean grandmothers were waving their hands in the air like they just didn't care and every song had an alto sax solo. Then came the announcements and the encouragements to love Korea, love Pohang, etc., and I began to suspect that perhaps we were somehow now in the wrong (North) Korea, participating in one of those mass pageants of patriotism that they so love. Then they actually had the fireworks show, and the hundreds of thousands of us all sat in awe. I was high just from the spectacle and the clouds and the smoke and the background of the city and the steel mill and the visuals and the utter lack of negativity. Then we rode our bikes home. Today, my butt hurts.

That's my advice for you, LW, if you can understand it.