CT's being rational, and other posters (e.g. Exquisite Koi) are being helpful. My two cents:

1. You should be familiar with anyone getting laid in your house. I think this is a truly generalizable rule. Fits all situations and all people. Any girls he doesn't want to introduce to you and then spend time together with aren't poke-worthy anyway.

2. Yes. Yes. Yes. All the birth control talk, yes. As a sexual mentor, however, you should also point out the gravest danger of condom usage. Don't use one one time, one time only, and you'll NEVER want to use them again. Remember the future is uncertain, and you can never go home again. He's happy now getting laid while wearing a rubber. Make sure he knows that innocence is bliss.

3. Talk to her parents, and, if at all possible, arrange for everyone involved to be waiting in the living room the next time they do the deed. There are only so many chances in life to deeply humiliate and alienate your teenagers. Why not maximize the amount of shame and humiliation available here? Grandparents! Have both maternal grandmothers bring them some juice, just as they reach their noisiest. Seriously, measure just exactly how comfortable he is with sharing sexual details, and go just beyond that. Send him how-to articles about prostate massages, you know, stuff like that. IT IS YOUR SACRED RESPONSIBILITY AS A FATHER TO GIVE HIM HELL ABOUT THIS! Just exactly the right amount, though.

4. Laugh. Backstop him regarding his responsibilities while acknowledging his joy. And make sure everyone treats the young woman with respect.

You know, Peyote isn't so much an anti-Semitic as he is a misogynist. (Learn to identify irrational hatreds at www.patheticmen.org.)

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that your mother has heard him calling you "bitch". He's telling you (and American culture is telling you) that "bitch" isn't an insult. It's just the way people talk. This is a lie. "Bitch" means "you will never be important in my life." "Bitch" means "the boys will always be more important." "Bitch" means "when you criticize me, it means you have a problem. Not me." LW, you can reasonably allow a man to call you "bitch" one time, the time when you quietly but absolutely lay down the law: the second bitch is the last time he'll ever talk to you. Allowing a man to call you "bitch" is admitting that you are a second-class person. This is not radical feminism. This is basic self-respect.

Listen to CT and all these other good people. Take a short time-out. Bring in some adult moderator to help you talk to your mom. Explain to the BF that, if he really wants to be with you, he has to deal with her. If he can't put in the effort to convince your mom that he's not full of shit, then he is, in fact, full of shit.

Now, you two go out and prove all of us cynical old folks wrong. Just use condoms. (And, secretly from the BF, the pill. Seriously.)

The biggest one is that they instinctively understand that things aren't always about them. That means that the other person's desire to not be bothered trumps your desire to alleviate your lingering guilt. Based on that simple premise, here's a few pointers.

1. Limit yourself to simple statements and specific acts of atonement. Say "I'm sorry." Repay the money. Go away.

2. Allow others to determine how much contact they desire. If there are mutual friends, enlist their support. Have them tell the victim something like, "Jerky has realized he hurt you and wants to apologize and make amends. Would you allow him to do that?" Instruct those friends to gracefully accept a "No" without further comment. (That's the important part.)

3. Avoid focusing attention on yourself by telling stories about your past jerkiness. That is not for public consumption. Keep it to your closest friends, but ask them to monitor you going forward.

4. Don't listen to know-it-all jerks on internet advice boards who try to give you detailed instructions about how to live your life. They're just modelling a new type of jerkiness for you to avoid.

5. Remember that the Buddha taught compassion for all living things, including yourself.

Sincerely, if you don't like Atlanta, then nothing in life will ever make you happy. It is one of the best cities in the country. But you don't seem to care about that. You want to continue living in New York. Now, you've found that the guy for you is one that you can't possibly see on a regular basis. Sure, date this guy. But also start dating the city of Atlanta. Build that relationship. Divorce New York. It is not good for you. New York is co-dependent; you aren't allowed to have any outside friends. How many Saturday afternoons have you spent in Piedmont Park? Honestly, New Yorkers are some of the most provincial people in the US, especially when they get going on that whole "you've never had REAL pastrami" kick. Great. Now I want pastrami. Should have skipped this one.

Ummm...

What she said.

When I was single and dating in Korea, I wouldn't ask a woman for a second date if she wore high heels to go hiking at the local temple/mountain. Saved a lot of time and energy. It also meant that I had to go on a lot of first dates. Does that relate to the Yellow Fever Pages?

Thanks, I feel I can leave this thread alone now that you've sewed it all up for us.

That's sweet of you. Would you like me to introduce you to a nice Korean man? There are a lot of very well-educated, hard-working guys in my neighborhood.

Did you know that Korea is importing more brides now than it exports? Not just Filipinas and Vietnamese, either! Genuine white women!