Letters to the Editor
Rachael F.
Published Letters: 157 Editor's Choice: 17
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Okay....
[Read the article: Protect your private bits!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]One thing I just have to say:
Per the AIDS-prevention justification for circumcising African men: Does HIV really cause AIDS? Many think not (else the porn industry would be decimated).
Weighing in as a person with a biology doctorate: HIV REALLY DOES CAUSE AIDS!
Sorry to shout, but that's one of the most dangerous misconceptions/outright frauds out there, and while I'm guessing the reason it went unaddressed in the circumcision storm (BTW, agreed, wrong, shouldn't be done, and mostly WOMEN have opposed the practice until recent years) is because most of y'all know it, it still bears saying.
The number of scientists in the world who think HIV is not the cause of AIDS is approximately three. Out of tens of thousands of people who have studied the disease and hundreds of thousands like me who understand the biology. Really doesn't matter what a dumbass South African politician or armchair biologist thinks - the science is in, and it's clear.
And circumcision does reduce HIV infection (and other STD infection) measurably. Not remotely close to 100%, though. And it's not sufficient justification to perform foreskinectomies. Since, say, condom use achieves the desired end much more effectively, without disfiguring surgery.
I say, don't cut bits off people without their permission, and also women who want their labia trimmed by and large should might want to seek therapy instead, though without seeing each individual case, I'm gonna withhold real judgement on that.
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Eh
[Read the article: How can we get back the thrill in our relationship?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]He sounds just like every other Stanford undergraduate. They think it's all that and a bag of chips.
Wait till he gets out in the real world and finds out that hardly anyone cares. Or hears the words "grade inflation" for the first time. Stanford has more than one reputation in the academic world....
LW, I can only agree with those who say that you're too full of yourself if you think that there's anything "different" or "special" about your relationship. We all admire our lovers for their minds and hearts, as well as their abs, boobs, or butt. And the fire pretty much always winds up banked low after a year or so. If you were older, you'd realize that this is a good thing. It's hard (and very distracting from real life) to sustain that sort of intense emotional experience for years on end. Personally, I don't think it's healthy to still be head-over-heels with physical fire and can't-be-apartness after 15 months.
Don't take this the wrong way, but...you're completely normal.
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Beautiful
[Read the article: Her sexy T-shirt says "Kitty Not Happy" -- is that OK at work?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The entire response is perfect, but I especially loved this:
I hope you can. For you responded as an individual to her T-shirt, and that's between you and her. Moreover, as I will shortly explain, even if there are rules against her T-shirt and even if her T-shirt is a distraction in the workplace, I would, somewhat perversely, regard that as a good thing, not a bad thing.
For in a culture in which wives face a "good slapping" for dress-code noncompliance, women must and will find subterranean ways to express their longing for fair treatment, respect and emotional realism.
And, for the record, I'm one of the lucky ones with a job I love...I work in a lab. I learn new things every day, and they pay me for it. I make my own hours - as long as I'm producing, no one cares when I'm here. And we have no dress code. None.
I'm a PhD geneticist who occasionally wears tight t-shirts to work that say things like:
"Talk Nerdy To Me"
"Caution: Mood Swings"
"Just This Once, Everybody Lives!"
"Of the Two People Here, Which Is The Boss of Me?"
"Reading Is Sexy"
It's fun. It's a way to express a mood without actually having to inflict it (directly) on your coworkers. And it miraculously doesn't affect my ability to do my job or my labmates' abiities to do theirs. Possibly that's because I work with adults who like their jobs, rather than sexually repressed control freaks, though....
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First dates, boo?
[Read the article: Single women eat babies!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Actually, I found it the other way 'round. First dates were fine, but subsequent dates were a nightmare. And not because they were bad, so much...it was the post-date pressure. The expectation that, since this is date #3 or 4, you're supposed to be ready to sleep with a man.
Nope, not all men are like that. And not all women are like me - I honestly can't find a man attractive without knowing him for months first. I believe there's a happy medium for all those couples it did work for...but that's why I gave up dating. Or, rather, dating strangers.
And now I'm marrying my best guy friend. But I can sympathize with them as gave up on dating, oh, yes....
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Hmm
[Read the article: Single women eat babies!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If it takes months of their providing friendly social support before someone triggers any kind of response in you how can they be sure there is REAL genuine instinctive intense SEXUAL chemistry
First off, not sure this really qualifies as a female/male difference - I know plenty of women who feel sexual chemistry early on. I just happen to be one of the ones who doesn't.
And I don't know how you can be sure, any more than I know how I'm sure that my husband-to-be really loves me beyond the physical...I just know that he does.
For myself, I can only say this: real sexual chemistry only happens with someone I know well and feel friendship for already. And I can't fake it. If I'm sleeping with a man, it's because I really want to have sex with him. Otherwise...I just don't do it.
I'd say this: have the self-confidence to assume that if she's sleeping with you, it's because she feels the chemistry, until you have real evidence otherwise. Because if she's faking it, well...you don't really want that relationship down the road anyway, do you?