The Simpsons lost it in 1998 when Phil Hartman died tragically. It has never approached it's former brilliance.

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure, you might remember me from such educational films as 2 minus 3 equals negative fun and Firecrackers: the silent killer"

"I can't believe it's a law firm"

"If you started outlawing perceived symbols of sartorial subjugation, there would be no end. What truly makes women prisoners is policing their bodies from the outside."

The burqa is not a "perceived symbol of sartorial subjugation", it is an ACTUAL instrument of subjugation. It's the difference between a picture of a fist and a punch in the nose. What makes women prisoners is IMPRISONING them. How obvious does it have to be?

When will western feminists get it? I think their minds are clouded because they are only fighting symbolic obscles themselves, not real obstacles. Western women are behind men only in percentages, 80 cents on the dollar, numbers of representatives, CEOs, etc. Middle eastern women are actually maimed, killed, punished, for doing things western feminists take for granted. In France, and everywhere else, if you harm a woman, if you force a woman to wear a burqa, you should go to jail. I can't believe we're even discussing this.

It's a difficult concept, so try to break it down.

Genotype: XX, XY. There are also XXX, XXY, X0, and other combinations. Pretty much immutable.

Phenotype: Male and/or female genitalia. Androgen insensitivity syndrome, surgery, accidents, etc. can change this.

Sexual Identity: Do you see yourself as a man or woman (occasionally androgynous)? When asked, what do you respond with? Which sex do you dress as?

Sexual Preference: Now, we finally get to it. Do you sleep with men or women?

All combinations of these exist, and will end up with all combinations of partners, given enough time. Approximately 1% of Americans have genotypic or phenotypic variations from XX-woman XY-man at birth. Many more have different sexual identities and sexual preferences. It's stupid to try to come up with laws for all of them. Marriage is between 2 consenting adults.

Question: "Define marriage?"

"Marriage is the union between a man and a woman. Now, for me as a Christian, it is also a sacred union. God’s in . . . in the mix."

If you guessed the POTUS Barack Obama, give yourself a gold star. Miss California answered exactly as Obama did. Think about that. Then think about Perez Hilton and how much media attention this got him. Then contemplate a bunch of liberals targeting and attacking a supposedly conservative beauty queen for holding the same view as the liberal president. Sound like misdirected anger? How about Two Minute Hate?

1. Bar. 'nuff said

2. Smoking area beyond the checkpoint. I know state law prohibits, blah blah blah. I don't care. It sucks to have to go though the checkpoint every time when you are waiting for hours.

of the ravages of marijuana on a person's health. Looking at Michael Phelps' wasted body and mental loss of motivation, I can only reflect on the immense health risks associated with marijuana use. Just think what physical feats this invalid would be capable of if he could escape the claws of this terrible addictive drug. Truly, Michael Phelps is a perfect example of the ill effects of short-term marijuana use.

Use your Vulcan logic; it may not be YOUR argument, but it is the main contention of the aricle.

"Was the scale of the Israeli attacks justified?”

“The principal charge against Israel is that it reacted to shelling by Hamas fighters with disproportionate firepower, killing hundreds of civilians in the process.”

“But even if Hamas fighters did fire rockets from the safety of mosques and schools, Israel's critics argue, bombing these buildings was excessive. The numbers speak more clearly than any accusation: 13 dead Israelis and 1,300 Palestinian casualties, including large numbers of civilians. Even if one takes the Israeli figure for Palestinian casualties -- about 700 dead -- the high death toll still raises a fundamental question: Can the laws of war even be applied to a conflict that has ended with such an overwhelmingly one-sided death toll?”

The last one is the key. By this argument, if Hamas had killed more Israelis, Israel would not be accused of war crimes.

So the argument is that Israel is only guilty of war crimes because Hamas' attacks did not kill enough Israelis to be proportionate? If Hamas had been more successful, then Israel's same attacks would be justified?

To green is a stupid way to say you are coloring something green. Greening = not a word.

In the immortal words of Calvin and Hobbes, "verbing weirds language."

Seriously, can't we stay focused on the important things people?

The idiot missed. If he had hit President Bush, that would have been something. Instead, it's nothing.

The Uniform Code of Military Justice prohibits service members from committing homosexual acts and is entirely written and controlled by Congress. All they have to do is change the code; I think it's the Armed services committee in both houses. Bush would've vetoed the change. What would Obama do?

The ball is entirely in Congress's court.

King,

I am so afraid the quality of writing will diminish as the wardrobe gets fancier. Best of luck for the future of the column, it was always my favorite next to Andrew Leonard.

You're the best semi-serious sports commentator out there.