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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
Published Letters: 289 Editor's Choice: 20
This story should never have been published - after all, Senator Vitter says that God has forgiven him. Who are we to argue with the deity? If God is okay with it, than it must be - wait a minute.
Do you think that "God" could be Senator Vitter's nickname for his penis?
"I discussed it with God, and He said to go ahead and bang that whore!"
"Brandi, you've been a naughty girl. Kneel down before God!"
"God says the water sure is cold. Deep, too!"
"Doctor, why is God burning and dripping pus?"
Thank goodness we taxpayers are paying for the best medical care for God! I'd hate for anything to happen to him.
That's because mine isn't filled with pus and infections, AJB. :D
Senator Vitter had better watch out. Aren't hallucinations one of the symptoms of some of the more ferocious STDs?
"Psst. Hey. Senator. This is God. Stick me in the pickle slicer!"
In what way have these thugs shown any sign that they'll actually relinquish power to a new Administration?
I've said this from 2001 on, but it's start to sound less and less crazy as time goes by.
I don't think they intend to leave power. EVER.
How DARE he obey eons of genetic selection for males who are constantly on the watch for potential mates? Doesn't he know that he's not even supposed to notice any other girl in the world, now that he's with his current girlfriend?
Even if he was surrounded by gorgeous naked starlets, it would be his basic moral duty to claw his own eyes out rather than look at him.
Nasty, dirty, filthy man. Doesn't he know that the only reason he has the instinct to appreciate female beauty was to allow him to meet his one destined soulmate? And that now that that function has been fulfilled, he must never find any other woman to be attractive?
He may whine that it's out of his control. NONSENSE! Everyone knows that the male sexual urge is totally volitional in every way.
Oh my god - I just had a horrible thought. What if he sometimes actually fantasizes about having sex with other women? That's the moral equivalent of ADULTERY! His girlfriend must sue him for divorce immediately - right after they get married, that is.
Then she can continue her search for the perfect non-girl-watching boyfriend. I'm sure he's out there somewhere!
In the meantime, I just had another horrible thought. What if her boyfriend ever decides to have a wet dream? Or even multiple wet dreams? Serial adultery - and she could catch an STD from one of those dream-sluts, to boot! She'd better get herself checked by a doctor right away. While she's at it, she could talk to her doctor about some form of medication or surgical procedure for her boyfriend which will eliminate all of those nasty, unacceptable sexual urges.
That may leave her a bit frustrated, of course, so she might also want to invest in a good vibrator. Which she will use only while fantasizing about her now-safe boyfriend, of course.
Problem solved!
Burqas!
Let's start a movement to force all women in the US to wear burqas. That'll fix everything!
Or, if we want to go with something less terrorist-y and more American, how about adopting mandatory Amish styles for women?
Damn. That won't work. Too many guys have seen Witness, so seeing a woman all bundled up Amish-style will just get them horny. :D
...does anyone think that Rove/Bush aren't aware of these trends? They've managed to delude themselves on a lot of issues, but only once when it comes to politics, when the Dems took Congress.
So I have to wonder: if they know that younger voters are trending against them, what will they do about it? In many ways, it really does seem as if they simply don't intend to give up power. A "false flag" terrorist attack on a major US city would be one excuse that they could use to suspend the 2008 elections.
OKAY! I've had it. Let's chop off every penis in the world - not just the foreskin, the whole works. If that will stop this annoying debate, I'll vote for it.
I, for one, welcome our new penis-less masters.
As a lifelong liberal Democrat, former Connecticut resident and voter, I've followed Lieberman's career carefully for a long time. I'm proud to say that I never voted for Mr. Lieberman as a Senator. I held my breath and voted for him on the Gore ticket, but it was purely from desperation - and as far as I'm concerned, he's the one who lost that race for Al Gore.
He is a disgrace to Connecticut, the Senate, this country, and the human race - a sanctimonious, self-righteous, hypocritical war-monger. I look forward to the day that the voters of Connecticut correct their mistake and dump him out of office, from whence he can leap into a position as a resident stooge "Democrat" for Fox News.
Hannity and Lieberman? Wouldn't surprise me.
(To the tune of "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas")
Jolly old Joe Lieberman
Moral as can be;
He looks down on everyone,
Reeks of sanctity
Never met a Democrat
That he didn't scorn;
He sure loves our pResident,
Hates free speech and porn.
Jolly old Joe Lieberman
Never went to war;
Happy to send others there
More and more and more.
Had two kids with his first wife
Then he changed his mind
Dumped her 'cause she was Reform
Missed that the first time.
Jolly old Joe Lieberman
Kissed George Bush, alas
Now he spends his days and nights
Kissing Bush's ass.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
219 Democrats and one Republican join in favor of the legislation, which passed by a narrow margin
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Salon headlines in your mailbox
