Letters to the Editor
GrantS
Published Letters: 93 Editor's Choice: 7
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Her looks won't improve. Old wisdom says to focus on improving what you can.
[Read the article: I can't stand losing my beauty as I age!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I like the a answer you gave the LW - cliches and all. It is unfortunate that any of us have to age. It is unfortunate that any of us have to lose the easy esteem you mention. Certainly this could be framed as an abandonment issue as the daily love has abandoned her. Certainly she must grow to accept her new lifestyle; it has always been thus. Your answer is like a disenchanted lover, upon dumping you, saying "No, no it's not you; it's me. We can still be friends." But for the dumpee the loss of love cuts deep and smarmy words and cliches aren't good enough.
It's been said that beauty is wasted on the young and I couldn't agree more. So the letter writer is correct in saying that men will tell her she's getting what is due her and that generally men don't find her attractive, ever. I know I wouldn't. Despite this basic truth the LW needs to overcome the anger that will come to her because of this. Taking revenge for natural behaviour will only spiral into even more bitterness and anger - and that is simply a waste of time and energy. Instead the LW should take this lemon and make lemonade by focusing the negative energy to positive pursuits. Improve upon what strengths she has and age gracefully doing so.
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I actually read through every last letter posted.
[Read the article: If the first date isn't great, why go out with him again? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I've got way too much time. I'll agree with the above poster that Cary's job is now done for him. Good work everyone!
There is obviously two camps at work here and gender doesn't seem to matter. It's either "judge quick and cut your losses" crowd or "give it time" believers. It just goes to show men and women are closer in how they think than generally given. Cary's caustic and sarcastic letter is saying the LW may want to switch camps.
Obviously there is no right answer. Find someone who follows the same strategy may be best. What would be interesting is if some social scientist tapped into what deigns someone to choose a certain dating strategy camp (also which strategy has a better success rate) and what works best for each camp.
I also think "chemistry" has more than one meaning and can be used as a substitute for sexy, rich, trustable, empathetic, compatible, similar-interests (among others). With this many meanings it almost becomes a meaningless word. The LW needs to specify her wants more.
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The girl disagreed with the hijab. In the future will feminists offer advocacy and support?
[Read the article: Feminist hypocrisy on the hijab?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Tracy is saying, in this grey area, let the women and families decide for themselves. Instituting dress codes is not the governments realm. It seems that Tracy doesn't wish to use her public platform to press for the possibility of a pro-western choice either. With this death we see that sometimes choice (an empowering feminist issue) is being denied simply because of gender. I would think that would be a direct concern for feminists.
The Government of Canada will not deny immigrants lifestyle choices. This is a good thing. All that can be done at that level is impose the rule of law relating to violence and such. To encourage or support western lifestyles requires the softer touch of non-government agencies and movements like the feminist one. Women seem to need more support from organizations when faced with brutal family situations (as the Pervez girl had) and it is here where feminists can shine as advocates pushing for that support.
My only fault with Tracy's stance is how she ignored that there is a place for feminists should these women wish to embrace western ideals. By ignoring that need for support it comes across that feminism and immigrant women are a mismatch - which is simply not the case. Tracy forgot to mention what feminists do best.
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Opportunity in the chaos.
[Read the article: Why conservatives love Barack Obama]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It seems the Republican support of a Democratic nominee is counterintuitive. To support ones enemy(!) takes away from ones own party. Are these Republicans thinking about switching allegiances or is this some Machavellian plan to win in the long run? If it is republicans going democrat then the dems have no worries - these turncoats will vote for Obama all the way.
That this is some long-term plan to win the presidency indicates the republicans think they can alter the long run early with tweaks to the democratic nominee system. Maybe this is to deplete funds, influence opinion, or something else unsavoury. In the end what is most accomplished is akin to chaos and previous letters prove it. This is mostly a good thing to republicans as it then gives room for opportunities previously denied. A majority (50%+) of people wouldn't vote republican again unless something dramatic happens leading up to the election. This type of tweaking may give republicans that opportunity. Desperate times call for desperate actions and desperate actions can always be vilified - a republican trademark.
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What the heck is going on here!!??
[Read the article: My married boyfriend's ditching me for Christmas]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Why wasn't Christmas talked about sooner? DUH!
Why not spend Christmas alone together?
Why can't it be split up?
Why didn't she invite him to her family?
Is his family so dense they can't understand how divorces work? If his family knows he is separated and knows he has a new gf, then they would understand these situations.
Why, after 1 1/2 years, hasn't she been introduced to everyone? It certainly is long enough.
This relationship doesn't seem so special to me. The communication is terrible and she hardly knows his family. Shared experiences improve relationships and excluding ones' partner makes them fail. Actions speak louder than words - and in this case words weren't even spoken. Then the LW raves about what a special thing they have. She is in denial. No wonder both of them are divorced.