I'm not sure how this translates to Indian society, but the major thing that's always confused and saddened me when it comes to the issue of verbal harassment of women on the street, is how it's considered more acceptable than the yelling of racial epithets.

Sexual harassment of women is a phenomenon that is present in nearly every society on Earth. And yet in many of these places, there aren't other kinds of insulting terms being yelled out on every street corner that society finds acceptable. (Well, maybe against homosexuals, but that's a group who has it way worse off than women, universally.) In America, no one would ever tolerate racial insults aimed at people walking down the street. Sexual insults towards women are not logically different, in that they call attention to a categorical difference in a way that's meant to demean and embarrass.

I wonder if in India there is a similar corollary issue (perhaps comments concerning caste or religion are considered distasteful in some parts) that these women could use to make people think about this problem in a new light. Of course, this would require that people accept the basic premise that women have the right to not be demeaned everywhere they go, and I'm not sure Indian society is quite there yet.

People may think they are paying woman a compliment, but on a deeper level that is not what they are doing. Compliments come out a desire to make someone feel good, and because we live in a society where a women's sexuality is considered a somewhat sacred thing, it is inherently demeaning to a woman for this to be discussed without invitation by strangers. The fact that many of the people dolling out these 'compliments' would be upset of another person were to yell out similar things to their wives, daughters, or mothers proves that the compliment explanation is not quite correct.

People may truly believe they are paying compliments when they make sexual comments to women they don't know, but what folks tell themselves often does not correlate with what is really going on underneath. This behavior comes out of an inherent disrespect, and this message is received loud and clear by any woman on the receiving end of such comments.

I am sorry, my response to you didn't properly address what you said in your initial post. I do understand your point that the fact that there is a built in defense means it's not quite the same as a racial epithet. This is certainly a difference between the two situations - one of many. It is also certainly a valid point and I thank you for making it (I also understand and appreciate that you are not yourself endorsing the 'compliment' defense).

My response to you is that I don't believe this is enough of a difference to counter my argument. I believe that regardless of what people claim, it is still an accepted behavior whose motivation and end result is to demean an entire category of people. This is what's important in the equation and therefore I believe it is logically equivalent for all intents and purposes.

First, this statistic of the male/female wage gap is cited in what seems like every third feminist writing I read (and I read a lot of them). I'm a female professional and I find it inconceivable that I would earn less than a similarly qualified male coworker. That's just not how the world works these days. If presented with a current study showing this, I would immediately ask if it accounted for the fact that women typically do not rise as high in their careers as men, due to the unequal distribution of child rearing expectations. If this is the case, your scenario of a woman being unhappy because the man in the cubicle next to her is getting paid more is incorrect. If he is getting paid more, it's probably because he didn't feel that he had to take 3 years out of his career when he and his wife had a child, and thus has gained three years of additional work experience. That's fair in the small picture (more experience = more pay), but of course unfair in the big picture. If you say THAT'S the reason she's unhappy, I think you might have something.

I don't mean to raise a whole additional issue you didn't raise, I just want to point out how often the wage gap statistic is touted, often in a way which misconstrues its true nature. I this it's important that self respecting feminists remain intellectually honest. We have enough good arguments without resorting to distortions like that.

Second, I think you too easily dismiss the 'hottie' theory. There is an unequal level of pressure on women to be attractive, and the way beauty products are marketed usually attacks our self esteem, thus creating unhappiness. And while 'being hot' may not be at the top of a lot of women's priorities, the desire to be more attractive can weigh on top of normal, more significant life problems and have an effect. This is true even for older women. My 65 year old mother is an original Betty Friedan feminist with all the self confidence and assertiveness that can and should entail, and yet she worries about her wrinkles much more than my 70 year old father does. It's just the way things are, and I think it could indeed account for a marked disparity in happiness levels between the sexes.