I must agree with Cary here, as well as some of the other letters:

Therapy, with the goal of self-love, and understanding which will gradually change your behavior, is a good solution.

You've made huge strides towards understanding your emotional patterns, give yourself credit for all that hard work. And you've shown empathy in your understanding of your boyfriend's ways, which is really great.

For friends who are new to therapy, I give them this advice: It will take time. You will need to work at it. There will be times where the sessions leave you pained, crying, emotional, you may want to quit because it hurts too much, but it is worth it, you have to work through those issues of yours, and on the other side you can see things clearly. At the start, try and visit a few therapists, choosing someone who you can talk to, who will help you recognize your behaviors and to see emotional meaning in the way others behave.

My partner was burned by an overly needy ex, and I learned early on that I could not place all my neediness on him, he resisted, protecting himself (rightly). That resonated in therapy, and I realized that I could spread my neediness around to my close friends, my partner, my therapist, and myself. And with practice, that neediness grew to be less. And those friends, and my partner could also lean on me, and we could find some sort of balance in the chaos.

For the Letter Writer: If you are concerned about money and need legal representation, you may be able to get some free help with a Legal Aid type organization.

I read the NY Times article last night, and I read it as saying that eating disorders (including not getting proper nutrition) were the only cause of female athletes not menstruating. I understood from the article that it was a myth that non-menstruation is normal and healthy among female atheletes. However, I have no other source to cross-check that information, medical or research-wise.

As for NY Times's online article listings, I found the article linked from the "Health" section. If the point of the article is to educate the public, then putting it in Fashion/Style where the people with eating disorders find it, then maybe there's a good reason. It is also the prevalent style for women to be painfully thin.

About 6 years ago, my OB/GYN had tried a number of methods to get rid of my cramps of doom. The one that worked was to take the pill continously and got rid of my period (except for a few times a year small bleeding). It got rid of the cramps, which was wonderful, as well as the pads. However, the mood swings stayed. The Dr. reassured me this was safe, and my few years on it were fine.

However, my blood pressure went up as a side effect of another medicine I was taking, and I had to stop taking the pill altogether as there's a risk. I don't know what the cause was, but my menstruation afterwards didn't have the same frequency of terrible cramps.

I don't think the FDA would have approved of this without indication of long term safety, and I certainly didn't feel like less of a woman without a period. For my particular problem, it was completely worthwhile.

However, on a day with an important meeting, I have to make 3 bathroom visits just to keep from bleeding everywhere: that makes me miss those years even more.

"the campaign trail" ... "requires far too much math".

If what I caught on Fox news last night is any indication, the sort of math that is required is that which throws away facts completely "We don't yet have the numbers"... "only 7% of the votes"... "But we are ready to call this race for ..." I switched away in disgust. Women are smart enough to avoid that sort of math that has nothing to do with logic or reality. I'd like to think men are smart enough too.

p.s. humor gets old when repeated so often that 80% of the population believes it to be true. Note that I have no statistics to back that number up.

"Tim Walz is a beefy high school teacher and coach who doesn't quite fit the mold of the pale pursed-lipped Minnesota liberal. "

After reading much Broadsheet, it's refreshing to see the appearance of a male figure discussed as much as the females get discussed. Thanks for describing the characters for us.