Letters to the Editor

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  [Read the article: I got the writing fellowship -- so now I'm terrified!]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  Playing By The Rules...

  -I have a female friend in law school and she's become pretty comfortable with the fact that marriage is 99% legal agreement and 21% festivity. In the same way, I've come to believe marriage is 21% legal agreement and 44.5% how much of someone else's Shit one is willing to put up with/44.5% how much one enjoys being with someone ("in good times and in bad").

  -If your boyfriend can't deal with you being clingy, needy, too-emotional, and too self-involved, he's not going to be able to deal with you getting in a car accident and having your kidney punctured. If "The One" isn't going to stick by your Inevitably-Attractive-24-to-32yr.Old-Self (Love is funny that way) being too "Physically Needy" he's not going to stick by you when you're 24-77 years old and need help swapping out your colostomy bag. If being too "Physically Needy" at your current age is going to be too much for The Beau to handle, set your standards a little higher when determining if he's "The One."

  -If you constantly worry about what "not" to be, you're just going to end up blaming other people the things you do. Recognize the difference between what you Do and who you Are. The difference between prioritizing what one Is vs. what one Doesn't Want To Become is the difference between To Kill A Mockingbird and Candace Bushnell's Trading Up (which - in the same sitting as H's As and R.D., I read and enjoyed).

  -I used to hang out with the UNLV MFA crowd (many, many years ago. For real - "history tells us that 10 years of martial law and a wartime economy are going to feel like a Lifetime to people who are in their twenties today.") and when I was broke, they'd talk about how thankful they were for their $1000/month stipend. When my life was rich and interesting and they were broke, they'd say "I wish I would have just waited tables and written about it when I got home."

  Is that a year before you start stressing about money? Because if you're going to start Stressing about money a year from now, you can start looking for jobs now.

  -Also, I've been in a similar situation to yours for the past year. I became uber-stuck (creatively, and while working on a Big Project with Expectations) and I ended up getting a part-time job. On the way to work (and while at work), I felt like I just didn't care about what I'm working on. Maybe I'd just sit on It for awhile and deal with it later. 3 hours after getting home, I had taken a nap and was back at Creating. And creating well.

  I work in audio-visual/multimedia/sound-art ("emerging fields") and spent the afternoon streamlining the audio set-up of the foreign language department of a regional think-tank so I could efficiently archive instructional materials stored on antiquated mediums. What would you have done if you wouldn't have been a writer? Maybe you can go one step further than I have and give piano/cello/bassoon lessons to neighborhood children. Or if you would have been a scientist, maybe you can volunteer at an urban farm or go back and get your BS in biology.

  -This Year of Leisure may be the last you'll ever have. You may do your best work if you approach it as such (a temporary life of leisure) and write like it's your hobby (something you choose to do in your freetime because you Love doing it). There are some truths to stereotypes. Find the local middle aged pot-head and listen when he tells you life isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. Go to the liquor store, buy a bottle of Christian Brothers ($5), share it with a homeless person, and sing a-capella versions of "Dirty Old Town" and "Don't Worry [Be Happy]" for anyone who walks by.

  I wish I watched more television and movies. ($8 matinée? Fuck that.) I went down to the library and got Spike Lee's When The Levees Broke. As a white male in Detroit, it served as a nice reminder for why I'm here (and why I'm perpetually in a similar situation to yours). Lee documented traditional New Orleans funerals, and when someone explained why it's more like a party, they said, Well, it's like, 'I'm real sorry you're gone, but man... It sure was nice knowin' ya!'

  LW, I'm sorry for my Letter To The Editors. (Aside from the fact that I've never seen a #, it's 2.08am and the Mojo Wire store is closed.) I've known several people like you (my Ex-McWives) and they all like to have their cake, eat it, and think the word "not" entitles them to expecting someone else to pay for it. It's Tennis and Walsh and Kamiya and Greenwald that can be setting an example for people our age (I love the Broadsheet girls and notice they're having a struggle of sorts). Some of the aforementioned writers do a better job than others. That said...

  -I didn't say anything Tennis didn't say ("Stop being terrified and start being alive."). But hey, The Eliptical is where my mom does her thinking. C'mon, Tennis - you're in your 50s. You remember the good old days, Old Man.

  (Keep on keepin' it real, fukka.)

  :)'

  Permalink Thursday, May 29, 2008 11:44 PM