Letters to the Editor
greenbriar
Published Letters: 44 Editor's Choice: 1
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Wow, that's really something...
[Read the article: I'm acting like a monster so my friends are deserting me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm actually referring to the response. That's pretty harsh. I'm surprised.
Just step back and figure out what you want and how you want to get it. Then do it and fuck whatever anyone else thinks. Also, think about what you don't want and make sure you don't get it (that part sucks - ever see that episode of Seinfeld where George Constanza does the opposite of what he normally does?). I dunno - sometimes it takes a little while to realize that no one has a tumor removed and feels like they lost an important part of themselves.
The flip-side is that if you're going to "fuck whatever anyone else thinks" (and learn to tell the difference between people who get-off on seeing you miserable and people who are trying to help you out), it would behoove you to do the same with your own behavior (in regards to them).
Good luck. That's really something.
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[Read the article: I'm acting like a monster so my friends are deserting me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Ugh, I'm sorry, to the columnist (Mr.Tennis). I see what you're trying to do and it's awesome, but it's like someone said about the "you're doing it again!" It's that circular thinking that goes along with the "friends." That's a dark path to travel.
We live in a society that doesn't question ideals. I'm not talking about politics or anything along those lines, I'm talking about day-to-day living. You have (2) friends? That's enough to get by, isn't it? I mean, if you ever think that's not many, think about all your friends that graduated from college, bought a brand new Jetta, and then were in debt up to their eyeballs and hated it.
I live in a major music town and make a sort of fringe style of music ("shoegaze"/ambient/electronica - stuff like that) and my downstairs neighbor is a local rock star (I live in Detroit) and on a fundamental level, he doesn't understand my lifestyle. And sometimes, he takes it really personally that I don't like to party and go to the bar and stuff like that. And I really respect him for making me fall in love with rock-and-roll again and think we're just different people (he's told me he doesn't like to read - something I do constantly). Understanding that he misunderstands me on a fundamental level (like, takes it personally when he has a New Year's Party and I go home before 12am) makes it easier to not take it personally when he lashes out.
Point being, unless you beat her up or dished out more than you took, those people that think you're a Neanderthal aren't your friends and odds are, trying to show them that you can be someone they'll like only makes it worse.
I think that's why I thought Mr.Tennis' response was strange - therapy is cool, etc., but for the most part, if you're not channeling that stuff into something cathartic (music, for instance), than Do Something Else. I went through something similar recently (my ex-girlfriend and I would carry on conversations throughout the day from our respective workstations) and when we broke up, I just shut off my internet connection. A month without it (I'm a musician and work when I want) gave me a little sympathy for the fact that she doesn't have that sort of luxury.
Just forget it, you know? Let your friends call you if they want. Like the other person said - join a softball league or volunteer someplace. But if you find your mind drifting back to whatever happened (and is happening), do something else.