Some people, when their family members choose spouses, partners, etc., consider the newcomers to be part of their family, regardless of which family member they are "attached" to. She left the money to you, by name, so obviously she meant for you to have it. I think you should take it, do what you want to with it, and not look back. The "give it to charity" stuff is so bogus! She would have given it to charity if she wanted a charity to have it. She gave it to you. By name. That means: it is for you. You honor her by taking it.

I think a lot of the other writers are right: she knew what she was doing and you shouldn't second- and third-guess her. It was a lovely, gracious and loving thing she did, so accept it with love for her.

And all you other "you are selling your SOUL!?! (give me a break!) for a measly $10k." I'd like to see what you would really do in the same situation.

LW, thank you so much for giving all of us grammar/usage fanatics a chance to vent. It is such a rare opportunity to be able to indulge, even though it probably falls on deaf ears (my favorite is "hopefully").

I was giving my teenage daughter a hard time about using a wrong word, and brought out the saying, "If you can't say what you mean, how can you mean what you say?" She just rolled her eyes & said, "Whatever." ;-)

Sometime when the two of your are sitting around, suggest Googling each other together. Then, she will find out about it if she doesn't already know. (What will she find out about YOU?!) And, if something is on the internet, it IS public. Please don't use Cary's speech - it is demeaning & creepy & judgmental.

You've posted 27 letters so far on this article.

Can you move on? Please?

Went back and read all your letters (12 for this article alone so far). What a way you have with words: moron, bonehead, racist, bastard, retard, fool, nut jobs, idiot, fucking cry babies, ass master, dumb shit, just kind of jump out. What a marvel of sophistication and reasoning; what a great way to bring others around to your way of thinking.

In your household, right now, there is only 1 adult, and you are it. It is a lonely position, but as the adult, you are the only one who can and has to do something.

You seem to be approaching the situation from a reasonable, normal point of view. But there is also that voice inside that is trying to scream out that the situation is not at all normal; it is weird, it is creepy, you are in bizzaro-land.

People who have no experienced with something like this cannot understand. They can go on about not abandoning the innocent child, getting your husband to act with you as a united front, issuing ultimatums, etc., but they don't truly understand. Whether or not sex has occurred doesn't matter because normal boundaries have already been breached. You cannot fix her, nor your husband, nor, unfortunately,probably your marriage.

A lot of people have given you very good advice about taking care of yourself, getting out of the house along with any living things you care about, and getting professional help. I very much hope you will take their advice. If you were to tell a counselor, a member of the clergy, or teacher what you have told us, you would not have to worry about what to do next because it would be taken out of your hands, as it should be.

Many of us wish you well and would like to know how you fare. Please remember that YOU are the normal one here.

We once hired a babysitter from Indonesia who told us that back home, as soon as one could afford it, it was considered a responsibility to hire someone to do the laundry, then a cook, a maid, a gardener, etc. Not because they are rich and lazy or think these things are beneath them, but to help support the local economy by providing jobs.

Laurel962, you are sounding offensively self-righteous today. I think the person who said that disability standards are not set by us has a good point and we should not assume without knowing all the circumstances.

My ex has a "friend" who does the same thing. Turns out his whole busy, glamorous, important studio exec role is a cover for his real career as a drug dealer.