Oh sister...I hear ya.

Here's the deal. He won't shape up unless he really thinks there would be major consequences. Actually THE big consequence. You leaving with the kids. Butt bouncing on the curb with his amp thrown out after him.

Also, I hate to tell you that you have had a major role creating this monster. You are doing everything. You let him do whatever he wants, while you sacrifice for the sake of the family. Your parents have sacrificed so that he can reap the benefits of a much higher income bracket than he earns for.He is a spoiled brat. And what are you showing your kids? The martyrdom of mom. Your girls will emulate you and your boys will search fo a sucker, just like mom. Get yourself a good, feminist therapist. Mine helped me locate my backbone, which was good for all of us.

He is wrong to coast, but you are a sucker for letting him. This is only happening because you allow it. I am a SAHM with similar issues, but I have no job, and no parents to call with 100K at the ready. You have much more clout than you realize. You have your income, your parent's charity, your kids and YOU. And If he just doesn't get it, you will have to let him go.

See how much he likes being a STARVING artiste.

Plus no wonder how great he was B.C., you will have him AC for many more years. And he need to learn how to cope, just like you have. Good luck!

Nothing like a kid with problems to separate the wheat from the chaff. I have a kid with an autism spectrum disorder. She was VERY "autistic" looking when she was younger. The people who were embarrassed by her are still off the Christmas list.

I was the "evil friend" last year. I cringe to think how I let some of my friends down last year. I plead insanity. Really. I lost it.

I had to make new friends because I was persona non grata with many of the people I had been friends with for years. I spent months basically with my immediate family. It sucked. But then I started to make new friends, because I couldn't lean on my old ones any more. I accepted more invites from new people than old and just branched out. You may need to do that to get the heck away from her. This will also open your life to more healthy people, if you are ready. And if you are BFF's from childhood, people will ask questions. New people won't and wil not care. And I live in a small town.

Your feelings are not strange. I have felt worse about friendship breakups than those I have had with boys. The loss of that sisterhood really crushes a different part of your soul.

Good luck and better days!

And what do you do when you are travelling? Or when visiting non cooking relatives. Or well, you just get hungry and you are no where near home and it's cold, and even your kids are sick of McDonalds?

My kids are 9,6 and three. And I feel like I have been in the back of the bus in public for years. Livin' in the Parent'hood, I call it. I dunno. I sure as heck wouldn't have more, mostly because of the isolation. Kids under three are like ticking time bombs. You only have so long to go before they blow.

That said, I have worked in food service and I would never let my kids become a hazard. I think it is appropriate to remind THE CHILD to sit in their seat. Kids often will listen to strangers if not their parents.

But sometimes, we all have to eat. Do you think that people WANT to be the parent with the screaming brat? They are just trying to have a life. And NO oh childless ones...You cannot always get a sitter. Like when you are traveling. I have not been to Uptown in MPLS since my first was in a stroller. It just wasn't worth the stares. Noone would open a door for me and they would look at me like "Why are you blocking the door?" THIS is why parents don't stay "hip." We are literally forced into the malls and McDonalds by the other hipsters. Our taste buds don't die after the birth of a child.

I once breastfed a tiny baby to keep her from fussing at a "cool" place. The looks!!!! From my fellow liberals!

Cheap rent, colorful natives, cheap, empty retail space. Plus lots of low brain power, low paying jobs. My little town has an art gallery, and a ton of funky, creative people along blue collar stalwarts. And we struggle! For real!

Small town America is the New Bohemia!

I was in the Twin Cities in Uptown (Yuptown), Midway, East Side St. Paul. I moved to Ishpeming seeking a cool down town and a cheap house so that I had the option of dropping out again to raise the kids. Someone PLEASE open a coffee shop here! I'm too busy!

BTW I am a grad of the same school that the CEO of Starbucks did. NMU and Marquette are 15 miles down the road. They got a Starbucks about 5 years ago. On Campus. The town really didn't want one. Ishpeming didn't get a McDonald's until the early 1990's. Our independent spirit is alive and well.

Check us out! We were voted "Most liveable County" in 2003.

http://www.ishpeming.govoffice.com/