Feminism increased the number of choices women have. Choices have been proven to increase stress and therefore unhappiness. It's as true when buying cornflakes as when making life choices about marriage and children.

If there is one kind of cornflakes on the shelf, you don't have to think about anything. You buy that. There's a certain amount of contentment in being able to abdicate responsibility for the choice.

In the last generation the only life women had to look forward to was marriage. If you were lucky, the marriage was to a self-serving bully who nevertheless paid the bills and refrained from slapping you around and was therefore a "good catch"--well, that didn't make anybody radiant with joy but it was the only game in town. Once in a great while, a woman got married to a guy who turned out to bring home flowers and be a loving father to the wee ones. This was a pure luck of the draw. Most of us--including me--got the bully, the "Life with Father" authoritarian asshat who paid the bills and therefore made the rules.

However as there was no choice many of us would have identified as happy, esp. compared to the women whose husbands lost jobs because they got drunk, or who had to hide out one week a month because their faces were bruised.

Similarly, many folks from former East Germany genuinely believe they were happier under communism (I've been in Berlin and this is true. There's a great deal of nostalgia for the DDR, just like there is for Victorian marriage). Granted they had the Stasi,etc. but it was a no-choice life and that's easy. Life in a united Germany has turned out to be stressful for lots of people. They have choices, and therefore responsibilities, and are therefore "unhappy", like women in inequitable hopeless marriages who are suddenly presented with the choice of leaving the marriage, of not having the kids, of being able to pick out a career, etc. It's scary. We are free but somehow that's made us miserable because we're not sure what to do with it.

I strongly question the intrinsic worth of any "happiness" that arises out of a paucity of freedom and choices. There is such a happiness, and it is real, but it is a happiness bought at the price of a much diminished life. Our human dignity puts us at continual odds with it, whether in the DDR or in marriage. Our lives gain in value the more we take up the challenges and struggle against such happiness, which is really just resignation and "making the best of it".

So, are women more unhappy now? Sure. Is it feminism's fault? Sure. Is it a bad thing? NO. It's the unhappiness that comes with having to grow up and be an adult, a complete human being who has made their own way in the world, who has achieved goals of their own choosing. It's a human need (see Maslow's hierarchy) to be unhappy in this specific way. The only person who is always carefree is a dependent child who has no life of its own, or a trust fund brat like that stupid guy in Nick Hornby's book, "About a Boy" (an excellent read for people who are interested in this subject).

We can't self-actualize or become fulfilled without a great deal of unhappiness. That's just the way it is.

And now I'm off to make myself miserable looking at 200 different kinds of cereal. Any suggestions? Besides corn flakes?

"Julia and the Wolves"

Read it.

You're an ass.

Another 500 posts on the evils/joys of homeschooling, when it's very clear that's not what this article is even about.

If O'Hehir were dressing up teenagers in costumes and taking them to museums and mislabeling that as "education", the 500 posts would be justified. However, as everybody has pointed out, his kids are 5 and not yet "in school". So, this is just his wife staying home through the kindergarten year--who cares?

The editors saw the 500 posts and thought "wow", so now they're milking that cow again. That's fine, but could they have the courage to post an article about REAL homeschooling the next time? This isn't it.

And O'Hehir is starting to sound really shrill and full of himself. Blech.

You are both brilliant. Your posts nailed it.

It sounds like there is something physically wrong with the author, who sounds VERY scattered and baffled. She can't maintain focus or full consciousness ("zoning out"). That isn't a mental illness or an emotional problem--that is something going wrong upstairs on a basic level. She needs to see a doctor first and foremost. I hope she is all right.

the kid dressed as Zeus pretty much sums up why people shouldn't home school their kids. The kid is dressed up in a cape and green rubber boots, for chrissakes. Zeus wasn't a superhero; he was an ancient God. There's a difference, although you probably wouldn't know it if you're an average dunderhead whose life has been mostly informed by pop culture stereotypes. These parents seem to be just that.

Now a good teacher might be able to tell a student the difference between real Greek mythology and a cartoon. That's why we have teachers who have degrees in their subjects.

Homeschooling is for arrogant jackasses and religious child abusers. The woman who said that the atypical success stories give home schooling an undeserved good name was exactly right. Homeschoolers are mostly members of the neocon conservative lobby, and those few who aren't....are like these folks, who think dressing up for Halloween represents some kind of understanding of complex ancient cultures.

Of course the five year olds are just having fun--it's the parents who need to take a long hard look at themselves.