Letters to the Editor
hermesloin
Published Letters: 53 Editor's Choice: 18
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Does this headline match the article? (hint: no)
[Read the article: Does Madonna still matter?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]As a pretty hardcore Madonna fan, when I saw this headline I furiously clicked on the story expecting to read a story about why Madonna doesn't matter. But instead I found a story that was sympathetic and kind to Madonna - one of my favorite artists. I guess I didn't need to engage in knee-jerk defensiveness, and I suspect that the writer didn't write the headline.
Interestingly though, this is a long-time favorite Madonna headline of many editors, one that has been in vogue since Madonna first broke on the music scene in the 80's. It's a thinly guised wish that she won't matter and go away. It attracts her rapid fans and rapid detractors - it's a smart headline - just like Madonna. When Entertainment Weekly named Madonna as the number 5 top entertainer of the 20th century (in front of Frank Sinatra) they acknowledged that her star is in constant danger of being extinguished, but so is every celebrity's, so why are we so obsessed with Madonna losing 'it' when she's done nothing if not prove that she has incredible staying power?
Italians do it better. So do Kabbalists. But Madonna does it best.
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Identity
[Read the article: Chasing the dragon]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This article raises an interesting point - if you let a few moments in the sun define you for the rest of your life, then what will life be like for you? Whether you win or lose, if you go through life being defined by that moment, then the outcome isn't that great. But if someone can move on with their life and go to the next thing without identifying themselves with either winning or losing a gold medal, it seems they have the best chance of living a well-adjusted life.
This past year I landed a gig as a celebrity escort at a major awards show. It was an amazing day spent running around the Kodak theatre in Hollywood rubbing elbows with celebrities and getting full security clearance to every aspect of the event. Granted, not as amazing as winning a gold medal, but overall it was so much better than my normal 9-5 job. After that weekend, I wanted to find a new job that was as exciting and eventful as the awards show - and then I realized that there's a reason the awards show only happens once-a-year, it it happened every day, no one would watch it - it loses its meaning. It is the unglamorous side of life that gives the glamorous moments meaning.
We all have peak experiences in our lives that are transcendent and glorifying. The trick is that the rest of the time life won't feel that great, so how do we cope? Probably by not gaining our sense of self from that peak experience, and moving on to the next thing. By being forward-looking and keeping our egos in check.
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WRONG ANSWER CARY!
[Read the article: Can I stop my aging parents from suing each other into oblivion?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I know that I'm not alone in stating very strongly that Cary is on the wrong track in his answer. There are so many cliches I could write to support why I think it's a horrible idea to get involved in your parent's psychodrama... but I won't.
Rather I will say that there is a book called "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. It's a self-help book, but before you roll your eyes, hear me out... I'm not suggesting you read the book, but listen to a tidbit of advice from the book: there are 3 types of business in life: your business, other people's business and God's business. Whenever you are in someone else's business, you will suffer - it's a metaphysical law, or at least really good advice from someone who's been there, done that.
Your parent's divorce is not your business, it's their business. Inserting yourself in the middle of it (ignore all the crazy circumstances of guardianships and what-not for the moment) will only cause you more suffering -- and it very likely won't alleviate any suffering for either parent. I wouldn't touch their divorce with a 10-foot pole if I were in your situation. I would lovingly keep my distance. Let them both know you care about them, but that if they really care about you they'll stop asking you to get involved in their mess - that's what a real, loving parent would do.
You nailed it on the head - they are playing the victim role. They are using their victimhood as currency to manipulate those around them into playing a sick game - don't play along. Or if you do, do so at your own peril because this is a dangerous game... it's a lose-lose.
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Patriarchy goes after boys at age 5
[Read the article: Dude, where's my manhood?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I recently discovered a YouTube video of Jane Fonda discussing the differing impacts of our patriarchal culture on boys and girls. She was speaking at UC Santa Barbara. Her point is that patriarchy goes after girls when they reach adolescence by attacking their voices (metaphorically). They pursue a relationship with boys instead of exploring a relationship with themselves. But even more dismayingly, patriarchy goes after boys at the age of 5 when they enter the public school systems, and it goes after their hearts. At age 5 boys become socialized to suppress emotions and they then have to operate in a very small parameter of "masculinity" that is about 100 years out-of-date, and if they don't, they get labeled as gay. When in reality they become emotionally illiterate, the consequences of which, for all involved, are enormously destructive.
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Oh Camille...
[Read the article: Nobody's dummy]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Shut up.