The situation should be covered solely and only by the name(s) on the lease. If the name on the lease is only the LW, then his roommates have no right to ask HIM to leave. He certainly could--once new terms of the lease are negotiated. And depending on whose names are actually on the lease, they are going to have to be.

LW, if you are committed in a lease, then YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. If you move out, and six months later they stop paying their rent, the landlord can come after YOU. And he will.

If you decide to move out, you'd better make damn sure that your name is no longer on the lease, and you are no longer committed in ANY way--AND that you get back every penny of security deposit personally paid by you. Have an apartment walk-through so that no damage can be blamed on you later.

Cary must know something about the arrangement he's not mentioning, because this really isn't about friendship and emotions and who has done what TO whom and who has done what FOR whom. This is a legal contract between you, your roommates, and the person/giant real estate conglomerate you're renting from, and they (the landlord/landlady/giant real estate conglomerate) don't give a damn about the delicate tangle of human relationships. They just want the rent paid and the apartment undamaged.

Because I really don't understand why Cary's advice was so bad, and why at least SOME people are saying, hey, you're a good person, just cut your losses and move out.

It's not about whether the LW was taken advantage of or not, and it's not about what kind of person the LW is, or what kind of people his roommates are.

Either the LW is ON the lease (in which case he's liable until the end of the lease) or he's not (in which case he should just move out). Personally, no matter what, I'd move out--but only AFTER I had 1) give the proper notice to the landlord (even if you're month-to-month landlords usually require 30-days notice) and 2) ensured that I would get any security deposit/first and last month's rent THAT I PAID returned and 3) notified any and all utilities that are in my name that service should be taken out of my name at the end of that 30 day period.

It is the NEW OFFICIAL TENANTS' responsibility to ensure that everything is squared away with the landlord (new lease, if required, signed, new deposits given) and with the utilities (they have to call and request that the utilities be transferred to their name--btw, if you have a land line and it's in your name, make sure THAT's transferred too).

And if your "friends" want you to leave any of that in your name, or leave any of the security deposit or whatever, say no. You need the money for your new place, and you're not going to have their utilities in your name. Say it nicely, but say it and stay firm.

You shouldn't even need to consult a lawyer. Most leases are pretty cut-and-dried about what you can and cannot do.

Right? Then you wouldn't actually have the chip inside you, but all the information would be on you and available. That seems like a good compromise.

Or we could all just get medical bar codes...

It's been done. 20 YEARS ago, at least. Columbus, OH band The Gibson Brothers used to do it regularly when they played out, and it was always a favorite (that and the Porter Wagoner song "The Rubber Room").

Just sayin'

I have a pair that are lace-up (look like work boots except for the fur tops) and I wear them in the heavy snow all winter. They're PRACTICAL, people! Yeah, they're not the fashionable kind, but they are Uggs, and I'm kind of tired of the boring slagging of them.

Don't like Crocs? don't wear them. end of story. I'll bet that Crocs have injured far fewer people than, say, Jimmy Choos, and they're a lot cheaper. Personally, my clog choice would be Haflinger wool clogs.

I got bored just typing this.

Mine are. Heavy rubber soles with good tread. Suede, nice warm furry inside, and even though they lace up they don't leak. Yeah, I wouldn't step into knee-deep icy water in them, but they are excellent for slogging around in the snow.

Like I said, my Uggs look like work boots.

Though I look at it a slightly different way... if I finish your work, I get CREDIT for finishing your work. If you don't advance as quickly as I do, don't complain--and I won't complain about having to finish your work. This, BTW, goes not only for working mothers (and fathers!) but for single people with health problems that keep them out of the office (I've dealt with one of those, and she was the WORST--even when she was at work her contribution was minimal and her complaints many).

I am the only woman and the only unmarried person in my department. Most of the guys I work with have young families, and TO A MAN have taken time off or worked at home due to unexpected childcare problems. I've never resented them for that, but it's also never added to my workload or delayed delivery of MY work. We could ask why that is--ARE working fathers more likely to take their work seriously than working mothers? or have I just been lucky?

BTW, unless you are in a really time-sensitive job, why do you have to give "excuses" for lateness? Just call and say "I'm going to be a bit late today, be in by ___." For most white-collar workers, the world does not end if they are not in by 8:00 AM. (I realize this is different in service-type jobs where someone else might have to stay late and cover your shift.)