Brightstar,

Exactly. If someone HAD proclaimed that they knew about quasars (just "knew" it, without evidence) hundreds of years ago, they would be nuts.

The fact that quasars turned out to exist would be reason to go back and see if that person had access to some special evidence or if it was just a coincidence.

If it was a coincidence, then they'd still be nuts. Lucky, but not nuts.

It's nuts to hit a 19 in blackjack. It's insane. It's crazy. There's nothing the dealer can be showing to justify it. But, 2 out of 13 times, it'll be the right choice.

The question is not "what MIGHT be true?" All kinds of things MIGHT be true and if I just proclaim that I believe EVERY unproven concept to be true, then I'll be more right about more stuff than anyone in history, because I will have affirmed EVERY truth, even those that haven't even been pondered yet!

But I'll also be much, much, much more wrong about stuff than anyone in history.

The question is "on what basis do we draw (always tentative) conclusions?"

The complete absence of evidence combined with claims that violate known principles, high improbability and a deeply anthro-centric formulation make it reasonable to tentatively conclude that God doesn't exist the way Finland does but he DOES exist the way "happiness" does, as a human perception.

That's as far as any reasonable atheist can get. Those who claim to know for certain that god does not exist are just as wrong as those who claim to know for certain that he does.

Certainty is delusion. But that doesn't make everyone an agnostic. I cannot disprove the existence of fire-breathing dragons, but I'm not agnostic about it. The evidence strongly suggests they don't exist, so that's my tentative conclusion.

An agnostic is someone who doesn't feel the evidence justifies any conclusion, however tentative.

Control freak much?

Thank you for your service, but we have simply outgrown you.

This is not a debate we care to revisit or reengage.

We seek the better angels of our nature in this time of crisis and we grow weary of being invited to barroom brawls with our fellow Americans.

We grow weary of being asked to choose between peace and security. We grow weary of being asked to choose between race and gender. We grow weary of being asked to choose sides in struggles we cannot win.

However stridently those who beckon insist, we must refuse. We must. Our futures and our very lives depend on evolving past this.

Time is precious short. We have barely noticed that for the first time in the history of the republic, one of the major political parties will NOT be nominating a white male to the presidency.

We barely notice because it's barely important. We barely notice because we barely have the energy to revisit all our old fights.

We barely notice because our current president has demonstrated beyond all capacity to doubt that the presence of a y chromosome or the absence of high levels of melanin is no guarantee of baseline competence, let alone stellar qualification, for the highest elected office on planet earth.

This is as it should be. This is what you fought for: a world where even YOUR relatively evolved views of race and gender are considered quaint at best and poisonous at worst.

Pioneers often make poor townsfolk, Ms. Ferraro. The town is here, now.

-J

Whenever your husband's cousin is in the pool, make sure she and your husband hear these five simple words:

This. Isn't. Working. For. Me.

If this is "offensive" to anyone, that really has to be a TP and not a YP: Their Problem(tm).

This is your home. It's your husband's home, too. The terms of use for the pool, parking space, basement, roof, kitchen or any other part is something that you two get to negotiate between yourselves and the present, as a united front, to your guests.

No decent person would be offended by that. No human worth having in your life would fail to understand those boundaries if they are clearly and un-antagonistically expressed.

There's no reason to assign blame. There's no reason to judge. Your husband's cousin is behaving in good faith, taking your husband up on an offer that she has every reason to believe meets with your approval.

It doesn't. The time to communicate that is now.

No one has to be at fault. You get to change the terms of the invitation at any time because it's YOUR HOUSE.

"We've loved having you here, but I'm at a place right now where I need to have more autonomy in the evenings and weekends and a more reliable schedule. From now on, can you call at least a day in advance if you would like to use the pool? And please don't be offended if I say 'no' on any given day."

Good boundaries make good friends, neighbors and kin.