"We do NOT have the right (legal or moral) to question some one else's personal religious choices."

Says who? Of course we have the absolute right to question anyone's choices. We just don't have a right to make those choices for them.

Why does religion get a special pass? We feel ourselves perfectly at home questioning every other kind of choice.

We question their taste in friends. We question their use of drugs. We question their parenting choices. We question their career choices. We question their ethics. We question their morals. We question and question and question because we want to KNOW who other humans are and we want to know what reasoning leads them to to the choices they make.

But religion? Oh, hands off! That's faith! That's a deeply held belief in the supernatural on the basis of no evidence whatsoever! You have no right to question that!

Bollocks. Great, bouncy yarblockows to that. We all have to share this planet in some reasonably civil manner. Since 90% of you out there seem to believe in magical, mystical unproven nonsense, I claim for myself the absolute right to call you all fools for it.

And you are. Religious beliefs are foolish, unfounded, bronze-age, superstitious, fear-based, servile, narcissistic nonsense offering no legitimate salvation to anyone and anyone, ANYONE, who believes in God is a fool.

And I claim the right to say so.

It's not about art...it's about control. You'd probably be just as miserable if he was talented and/or successful.

Your father is lonely. Your siblings and your mother constitute his entire life. Your approval and enthusiastic participation in his life are the cornerstones of his happiness.

He's afraid of other people. He's afraid of disapproval. He's afraid of not being the expert. So he's limiting his emotional engagement with humanity to those people who he feels OWE him moral support: his wife and offspring.

Failure to provide it will read to him as lack of love. Hence the hypersensitivity to criticism. He doesn't ask for serious feedback. He just wants you to recognize the complexity and the value of what he's doing and to admire him for his efforts.

You have to say "no." But, when looking for "no," look for a loving "no."

I'm not sure what that is, but it's some form of offering to participate in his life in such a way that he can get some real fulfillment...from something outside his family.

Um, after everything we've been through for the past few years, wouldn't it just be oh so nice if the next leader of the free world...

...uh...

...no nice way to put this...

...didn't just...

...uh...

BELIEVE THINGS FOR NO REASON?

Even though I've been an atheist for 20 years, okay, as a "new atheist" let me just say that I do NOT think science has all the answers.

But it's plainly apparent that religion doesn't have any answers.

Harry Reid holds press conference after press conference where he accuses the president of being a stubborn, obstructionist, unreasonable, borderline tyrant.

But if anyone actually does anything about it, then they're being cynical and insincere.

Therefore...

Well, you can draw your own therefore from those premises.

...your partner is a drug user, but because you are feeling overwhelming relief at the prospect of having an excuse to leave.

She's done you a big favor here. You obviously want out. You're obviously staying for reasons that have little to do with her and everything to do with the relationship, the business, etc.

And, I agree, not everyone who uses drugs is an "addict" in the current orthodox sense of the word. Your partner may or may not be. But at the very least, she's willing to put herself in the position of being "caught in the wrong place at the wrong time" while raising a child.

So, you have every excuse you'll ever need. Go for it.

Also consider the possibility that your partner wants out, too, and this is how she's going about it. Consider the possibility that she'll just keep upping the ante until she ODs, gets ripped off or endangers your child.

Trapped animals gnaw their body parts off to get free. Humans are no different.

"Does nobody believe in 'in sickness and in health' or 'for better or for worse' anymore?"

-KitchenGirl

These words apply to people of good will who fall into illness or other hard times seeking strength trough one another.

For that to work, both partners have to be committed to each other's happiness and well-being.

When one partner is behaving in a manifestly irresponsible, inconsiderate manner, these values simply don't apply.

And, no, no one in your life "deserves" a second chance unless you want to give it. If LW doesn't want to give it, she doesn't have to and no one gets to say boo about it.

And let's not forget: THERE IS A CHILD INVOLVED HERE.

Raising your child with someone who's either addicted to heroin or so irresponsible that they're willing to risk tens of thousands of dollars just to try it out is abusive to that child.

Whatever your rubric of "second chances" is, it should not involve putting your children in danger.

...what was all that shit about Vietnam, Cary?

We all know that humans have a wide and long tradition of evolving belief and that if someone is only "slightly" racist when their parents were klansfolk, that represents progress.

HOWEVER...

There's no reason to cultivate a friendship with someone whose beliefs you utterly despise unless they are willing to respect yours.

So, I say, pull the religion card. Works for everybody else. Explain to your friend that you believe that all people are created equal and that racism is an evil myth. Offer no reasons for this. Simply state that this is your deeply held religious faith and that you find any challenge to it to be offensive.

It works for virgin births and flying horses. It might as well work for social justice.