We've tried the "give a bunch of money to the jackasses who got us into this" approach.

They spend it on vacations and massages. And they always will. They will never, ever, ever do the things that need to be done to fix the system.

If we want to fix the system, we have to do it ourselves. If a bank doesn't want to be nationalized, great, don't accept any assistance. Then you can spend all the money you want on jet plans and corporate retreats.

Once nationalized banks are viable and the overall market is stable, we can reprivatize. In the mean time, pass reasonable regulation so that the same stupid thing doesn't just happen all over again in 20 years.

Or, behind door number two, we can keep authorizing hundreds of billions of dollars to be given to these institutions with no oversight or guidance and then we can have hearings in another four months to ask what happened to all that cash.

Listen to your heart. Listen to your head.

Then tell your heart to shut the fuck up and do what your head says.

Following your heart through life is like following your feet across a piano.

Live your own life, like an adult, and associate with whomever you like.

If two people in your life have a problem with each other, don't gratuitously mix the relationships. Don't gossip, don't make yourself available to listen to one run down the other, etc.

Be up front with everyone about being okay with everyone.

And if some people in your life can't handle that, insist on having temper tantrums, storming off, demand the right to chew your ear off and bore you to death with their complaints and then emotionally blackmail you if you push back, well, that's their prerogative, isn't it?

In other words, LW, stop being so goddamn codependent and don't listen to anyone who says that you "have to" do this and you "have to" do that because you "owe it" to your cousin to be this way or that and to support her through the "rough time" she's having being in love and contemplating marriage with the great new guy in her life.

When we're born into a family, contrary to popular myth, we do not sign a contract to provide a unlimited bullshit-listening-to service for every neurotic basket case who happens to share a gene or two.

Your cousin is obviously perfectly comfortable writing you out of HER life for months at a time if you have the temerity to lead your own life.

If I had someone in my life whose only conversational offering was to bitch at me about their ex-, I'd be fucking ecstatic if they stopped talking to me for seven months. Consider it a vacation.

Laws are for little people. If anyone is prosecuted, it'll be some low-level contractor or government official.

After all, we all know that Lyndie England masterminded Abu Gharib, right?

> You all-or-nothing folks would be useless in any kind of meaningful negotiation. <

I never claimed to be useful in a negotiation. Rights are not negotiable.

And I am a hard liner about equal rights, yes. Guilty as charged.

...as long as we have the bisexual orgies, I suppose we can do without the child sacrifice.

8 year olds don't have husbands.

I don't care what incantations were uttered or what deals were made.

8 year olds don't have husbands.

It's obvious why we can't reveal how we're spending the bailout money. Al Qaeda is still out there. Revealing how we're spending this $700 bil would give valuable operational information to the enemy.

So, why does FOX want to reveal this sensitive information which can only give aid and comfort to the enemy?

Why do they hate freedom?

> People don't like when you change the meaning of words.

Then take any word too precious to be changed out of the law. The law is a living, breathing thing and you will have to endure a few "changes to the definition of words" as we evolve.

Marriage used to be defined, by the way, as a man taking a woman (of the same race) as property.

Marriage has improved many times over the years, and each time the "definition" changed.

"Lots of bad feeling there towards the Letter Writer. Aren't we supposed to be helping them?"

I think that's Cary's job. He's the one who gets paid.

How about this for a theory, LW:

You cheated on your spouse because you're self-centered and narcissistic.

But now you're caught so you're making a big melodrama out of your healing process in the hopes that the people in your life will continue to pour all their energy and attention onto you.

It's obvious from your letter that you're much more concerned with how your spouse and family will respond to your healing process (ie "will they buy my bullshit story?") than you are in taking responsibility for yourself?

Demons? Hah. You had money? A crutch. You want your life back? Give me a break.

Healing from a situation like this isn't a negotiation. It's not bargaining.

"Hey, honey, I went to some counseling sessions and now I know the keywords to say to make it seem like I actually give a shit that I destroyed your life. So when will you be coming back so I can have all the stuff I want?"

YOU want YOUR life back? And what about your wife? Did she ever even HAVE the life she thought she had?

Get used to this idea, LW: the jig is up. Your loved ones are onto you. You won't be getting a pat on the head and a lollipop for being such a brave soldier and fighting your demons.

Executive Experience(tm).

How is this a problem not easily solved with a blowjob?

...'Teaching Mrs. Tingle' joke in here somewhere, but I haven't got the 'nads to look for it.