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Mr Smith

Published Letters: 218
Editor's Choice: 8

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 12:51 PM

I've moved on to movies...

Nine years ago (God, it's really been that long?) I was downloading tons of songs from Napster et al. That's over. Now I'm downloading entire movies in half an hour via Bitorrent. The more things change, the more they stay the same...

One argument I'd like to address is the falling revenues of the music industry. Isn't it a possibility that CDs, vinyl, etc have always been overpriced and over-valued? Maybe the recording industry is just angry because their tricks to squeeze money out of you (for example, selling albums with only one or two goods songs on it but making you pay for the ten other crappy ones) don't work anymore.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 01:27 PM

But is he pro-masturbation or anti-masturbation?

Some people find that important.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 03:21 PM

After three years in archaeology...

In retrospect, the most valuable thing I learned in archaeology is how to use a shovel to dig really precise holes in the ground. Interestingly, this is a skill that will earn you more money than many professional archaeologists.

By the way, for each interesting paper to come out of archaeology, there are hundreds that are soul-numbingly boring. This is also why archaeologists are fun to hang around with -- they drink a lot.

Thursday, January 8, 2009 04:54 PM

So is the dolphin trainer gay

or does he only train gay dolphins?

Friday, January 9, 2009 04:08 PM

Harry Reid needs to step aside.

The guy is way too meek and doesn't have enough foresight to predict situations like this. Either he changes his mind and looks weak or he goes against logic (and the wishes of Obama) and looks stupid. Either way he needs to let someone else lead the Democrats in the Senate.

Monday, January 12, 2009 05:16 PM
Original article: Quote of the day

Primanti Bros?

Isn't that the place that sticks your fries AND cole slaw IN the sandwich instead of on the side? I can't understand why people like that...

Friday, January 16, 2009 10:16 AM

So, if I'm not getting the standard glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut...

...then I'm killing children? Would it just be safer if Krispy Kreme offered only one style of doughnut? And how do condoms enter into this? I don't get it.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 09:33 AM
Original article: Barack Obama is president

Would it be appropriate to sing the theme from "Blazing Saddles" now?

Probably not.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 02:28 PM
Original article: A new beginning

Camera actually cut to Bush during these statements.

It did on CNN. I don't know about any other networks.

No reaction from Bush. I'm not sure he's smart enough to pick up on these things.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 11:22 AM

I mean no offense...

but it's depressing to me that my 18-year-old truck isn't good enough for Mexico.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 11:26 AM

Why are you continuing to reference Drudge?

I thought that hack was marginalized by the election. Continuing to quote him serves to legitimize him again. I'm sure there's many other right-wing crackpot sites you can quote, and you can rotate them so that no one of them can gain any prestige.

Sunday, February 1, 2009 08:21 PM

The Post 9/11 National Airport Constipation Rule

I loathe the fact that National Airport was named after Reagan. (My father, a conservative, was very much against it as well -- he felt the main airport of the nation's capital shouldn't be named for anyone.) However, I thought the post 9/11 flight rule that you couldn't get out of your seat for thirty minutes before arriving or after departing was very apt:

You had to sit and wait half an hour before you could take a crap.

I'm sure Reagan came up with many of his policies under the same conditions.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 09:28 AM

Literally picking some guy off the street to lead the GOP.

I'm conflicted about this. The part of me that wants to see the GOP go down in flames -- all the better because they are doing it to themselves -- is very happy. But my common sense and basic human compassion are saying "No No No!"

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 11:37 AM

Damn! My partner read Daschle's book for nothing

except for his valuable insights into the Healthcare Industrial Complex and keen solutions to the country's healthcare problems.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009 04:25 PM

The press needs to scrutinize these nominations even more closely.

I'm sure that one or more of Obama's nominees may have, at one time or another, driven faster than the speed limit or even jaywalked. We cannot tolerate such utter disregard for the law!!

Friday, February 6, 2009 11:33 AM

The Republican Strategy of Shooting Oneself in the Foot

To punish Specter, the Republicans will run a wingnut against him that will surely lose against a Democratic opponent? That's amazing.

Friday, February 6, 2009 01:21 PM
Original article: Counter-terrorism logic

We need Lisa Simpson's rock.

Remember the Bear Patrol episode of the Simpsons? If anybody is having trouble explaining this concept to someone, just bring up this episode and they'll understand.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 11:49 AM

What Obama should have said.

I think it was a missed opportunity when Obama mentioned an "ideological blockage" and didn't follow it up with "The Republicans need an ideological laxative".

"Enema" would have worked well too.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 06:48 PM
Original article: Bigfoot lives!

Good article, but what's with the weird spacing?

Another victim of the mysterious grammar monster that terrorizes much of the internet...

Thursday, February 12, 2009 08:23 PM
Original article: Ask the pilot

Dear Lord! The play area is an awful idea!

From a public health standpoint, it's hard to think of something worse than a Children's Play Area. (Well, maybe mandating the licking of escalator handrails.) Heck, elementary schools are already ideal disease-exchange centers -- do people really want to do the same thing on a national or worldwide scale?

Friday, February 20, 2009 12:49 AM
Original article: Michelle Obama, bit by bit

What's the deal about her arms?

She has clearly had over ten years of weight training from lifting up her kids -- hence the muscular arms. By the time my partner's son was seven she could punch out a rhino. So what's the big deal?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 11:50 AM

She's a NERD!

That's why I like her. I don't think sexy enters into it.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 02:12 PM

Very Comprehensive

This should cut down on those vicious lemur attacks that have the population terrified to come out of their homes.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 02:21 PM

Humans are Primates

Big Old Geek made a really good point -- Humans are primates. If they didn't make a distinction then the law should apply to humans as well.

Also, to preempt any discussion of evolution, the inclusion of humans in the order Primates (pronounced with an "eez" as the end) is based on shared characteristics, not evolution. So even if you don't believe in evolution, humans are still primates.

I guess now we have to know what the definition of "pet" is. If I call my sweetie by a pet name (for example, "snuggle bunny") while driving her across a state line, am I breaking the law?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 02:30 PM

Score one for Scientific Knowledge

I wonder how many Republicans were googling "Primate" before they voted?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 08:03 PM
Original article: Quote of the night

No post about Jindal's patronizing rebuttal?

With his strained folksiness and slight lisp he sounds like the gopher from that Winnie the Pooh movie.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 08:28 PM

What kind of weird natural selection

has resulted in only stupid Republicans remaining in office?

Thursday, February 26, 2009 09:48 AM

The Thin Air Hypothesis of Conservative Stupidity

Quick counter-example:

In New Mexico, all the progressives are in the northern part of the state which is at a high elevation. In fact, Santa Fe is at around 7000 feet, and is annoyingly liberal in my opinion (and I myself am an annoying liberal, so that's saying something.)

The southern part of the state is lower in elevation and much more conservative. Maybe it's got something to do with cowboy hats instead.

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