Personally, I'm so very tired of groups that purport to be young, hip, and novel, but rely on the age old politics of sexual subjugation and moral superiority. Most "new" religions and denominations have at their core the desire to create a hierarchy in which the founders find themselves superior. Which is not all that novel, just pathetic.

Judy, thank you for speaking up. As a woman who also used to work in rock & roll, I understand your disgust with the sexism which is impossible to escape. My company -- one of the world's huge conglomerates -- used to hold region meeting at strip clubs. and I won't even get into the kind of behavior that occurred on tour.

I also understand the beauty of feeling that life means something, that your presence means something, and that you are valued and loved. It must have felt amazing to be told that, when you weren't valued before, when things weren't optimal, that now they would be. And even better to be surrounded with a community that reinforced these positive feelings.

However, facing a similar dissatisfaction with the same world, I did not make the choice that you have made, and I question whether it is the appropriate decision for an individual and woman who is capable of great things. The rock & roll world isn't a good world. It is sexist, destructive, unfair, and immoral, and you deserve better. You deserve better, too, than to be told that your primary value is in your womb and your primary role is one of support. In fact, let me tell you this now: your primary value is you, and your primary role is one of seeking and growing and being who you were meant to be.

I hope that you find a place in this world which lies somewhere between rock & roll and subjugation -- some place where you can be valued, nurtured and loved. But above all I hope you find a place where you are loved enough to be given the freedom of self-determination.

Ann Althouse didn't make the initial comment on the breasts -- the same person who referred to "the small" did.

I'm disappointed in Cary's response.

Furthermore, I have been dealing with a problem similar to the LW's (I'm the spouse), and I think the problem is quite different than some others have seen it. The problem is that you have been told it's wrong to limit contact between your kids and your parents. This is despite the way they hurt you and your spouse in the past and despite the way they hurt you now. I would posit that such a belief is romantic nonsense.

Counseling would, indeed, be helpful. Chances are that if they've been abusing you all your life, then you could use some help in recognizing negative patterns, coping with the resulting feelings, and standing up for yourself. They probably won't hurt your children like they hurt you -- but why should they be allowed to disregard your feelings in such an important matter as the raising of your children?

It's true that they might not ever realize the error of their ways. But that doesn't change the fact that you need to control whether they abuse you and your family. In my own situation, I came to realize that the people I was dealing with aren't capable of recognizing what they've done to us. However, with our refusal to be abused, and the unwillingness to let abusive behavior stand, they have at least learned to treat us with something resembling respect.

I sincerely hope you find the inner resources to deal with them from a position of strength -- and don't let anyone guilt trip you into doing otherwise.

In my situation, there is another child who has no contact with the parents because he was lied to about his parentage until recently and is understandably unhappy about that. So, guess what the parents are doing -- seeing his children behind his back! The other child's wife brings the grandkids to see dear old deadbeat dad and his third wife and they have the kids call them "grandma" and "grandpa" while they smother them in gifts. They don't deserve access to the products of the son they didn't care for. But they get it, and this results in confusion for the grandkids, while the parents delusionally pretend that everything is fabulous and we kids are irrational and difficult. We kids, I'd like to point out, don't have illegitimate children, we don't guilt trip our loved ones, and we don't want to participate in dramatic revisionist histories. Which, of course, makes us bad people.

My point is this: those who suggest "not denying" your parents the ability to see their grandkids are acting as though there is no negative to allowing irrational, delusional, entitled people access to impressionable young children who have no context by which to judge their actions. However, depending on your parents, this might not be the case. Above all else, protect yourself and your family.

The author of this piece needs to examine her prejudices. Charlotte Perkins Gilman? Please. It's a scientific study which could potentially be useful to folks attempting to conceive, not a conspiracy to repress women.

Also, the author seems to be offended that the study could highlight anything that infertile women could be doing more optimally. Which is, of course, silly, because there are behaviors that are better or worse for fertility. Like smoking, for example.