Letters to the Editor
jebldmm
Published Letters: 1551 Editor's Choice: 181
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The day I was diagnosed bipolar...
[Read the article: Just when I thought I was going to be fine, they say I'm bipolar]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]was the worst and the best day of my life. It was the worst because my nightmare of not being totally in control of my mind had come true. I, like you, always had an "irregular" life. People put up with my eccentricities because I was bright. I always thought I could survive anything but losing my mind, and here I was being diagnosed with a mental illness. I denied it at first, then, when I finally accepted it, I sobbed so hysterically driving home that I'm amazed I didn't get into an accident. There have been many tears since then. But... it was also the best day of my life, because once I was diagnosed, I could control this. Not completely - but who ever controls their life completely? I take my meds and live a far better life than I ever did before I was medicated. But I am more stable and happier now, overall. It doesn't always seem that way, because I remember the "up" times from before, and I've sort of blurred the "down" times. It's easy to miss the ups if I let myself forget that they didn't come without irresponsible actions, bad consequences, and considerable pain for myself and others. Don't pretend that your life would be perfect if you weren't bipolar, or that it was perfect before you crashed. It was an illusion of perfection brought on by irrational exhuberance (aka mania). Nobody's life is perfect. Being bipolar is part of who we are, the good and the bad, and it's okay. It's a manageable disorder. I had my therapist write that down on a piece of paper that I carry in my wallet, for the times when it doesn't seem manageable. But even in those times, I know that I'm better off now that I'm diagnosed, because I can finally take charge of my life. I've advanced in my career, I met and married a wonderful man, and we live in a beautiful house - and when I feel good about my life, it's REAL, not some artificial emotion brought on by randomly firing neurons.
There is a lot you can do to make your life more manageable. Read "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide". It's a terrific reference. Consider talking to your psychiatrist about meds that don't dull your thinking process. Every med is different. Don't ever go off your meds without doctor approval. Ever. I'm glad you're giving yourself some time to adapt to this. A diagnosis of bipolar disorder isn't a death sentence - it's a new beginning. Now that you have a valid diagnosis, you can fight this. Before you were helpless, now you are empowered. Remember that - your life won't be perfect, but it can be very, very good.
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As Cat Stevens says...
[Read the article: Whipping the Post]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"It's hard to be calm when you've found something going on". For 8 years I watched the media, including the post, salivating over multiple Clinton/Democratic mini-scandals. There was no concern for balance and no worry that somehow reporting on one parties errors without mentioning the other party would indicate bias. Today I see Republican scandals, which seem much more serious than anything the Dems were involved in during the 90's, being more or less ignored. This week, the ombudsman for a "respectable" newspaper defended a columnist's flat out lie (it's only a mistake if you correct it when you realize you were wrong). Perhaps if George Bush got his hair cut in Air Force One we could get some equity. Meanwhile, the Republican policy of selling our government to the highest bidder continues unchallenged because the media don't feel it's important to tell people what's going on.