Letters to the Editor
firefly82
Published Letters: 288 Editor's Choice: 30
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Sarah1983 and crappy lunch food
[Read the article: Junk food education]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Certainly, often when cafeterias attempt to offer healthy food, the way they present it makes it even more unappealing. For a long, tragic time, I actually believed that I didn't like mangoes and papaya, because I had only ever tasted the syrupy canned fruit cocktail versions that left you desperate to brush your teeth.
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Time to level
[Read the article: My new roommate arrived ... with mom attached!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Sorry Amerigo, Farmgirl, Chulita, and everyone else insisting that Americans are just paranoid inhospitable whiners--this has red flags all over it. These people are being inconsiderate, evasive and manipulative. It would be different if they'd been even a little upfront about their plans.
First, wow, I can't even imagine how charming someone would have to be on the phone to sublet to her without meeting. But evidently, the roommates did that, not the LW. So first, get in touch with your roommates immediately and find out what EXACTLY the subleasing agreement entailed.
At least in my area, subleases are usually allowed by landlords but don't usually end up being arranged through the proper channels. If you have a good relationship with your landlord, he/she would be the first person I'd go to to clarify what you may be able to do. But if you don't, or if the sublease wasn't formalized properly, you could end up getting yourself fined.
I'd suggest sitting down for a very clear talk about what your expectations were regarding who was moving in, and how the current situation is in violation of that and while you're sympathetic to the girl's illness, is not what you agreed to and cannot continue indefinitely. You have to do this in an utterly calm, firm, administrative and adult manner. And I know how hard it is when you're being made to feel like the crazy unreasonable one. So get backup--don't do it alone for the sake of both your sanity and safety--a friend or neighbor or parent, whatever it takes for you to feel safe and supported. They have to know that it is NOT negotiable that the mother set a date to leave, and that you won't be passively bullied.
And unfortunately, the particular talent of people like this is evasion of a sit-down-and-talk situation.
Lastly, everyone, read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. Thesis: your intuition is there to keep you safe. If your gut tells you a situation is wrong, it probably is, so treat it like it is.
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Thank god I don't have to depend on any of you for understanding or help.
[Read the article: My new roommate arrived ... with mom attached!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Receiving understanding or help requires being honest about your needs and situation. Otherwise, you're exploiting people. The subletter deceived the roommates about what her living plans were, point blank, there's no further reason to trust her.
And it's the LW's HOME--no, she shouldn't have to put up with an awkward situation.
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This is not decent roommate behavior.
[Read the article: My new roommate arrived ... with mom attached!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]No, this isn't what you sign up for by having a roommate. Not even by agreeing to a subleaser. Considerate adult roommates consult on terms of habitation. They give notification of guests, and ask for clearance for long-term guests.
Strange but true!
You DO NOT put yourself at the mercy of everyone else's needs/eccentricities/abuse by signing up for a roommate or subletter. Sure, you sign up for the eccentricities, annoying habits, and personal drama of THE person you agree to live with.
Sure, there are reasonable times to suck it up and deal, but when the understood and agreed-to terms of a sublease have been violated, you've been deceived and have people assuming a right to live in your home who you didn't agree to live with....is not one of them.
Try to look at it this way: By adhering to my above-stated paranoid and unreasonable expectation, what could go wrong? On the other hand, by sucking it up, just being nice, losing the paranoia, being gracious, being polite, not making waves, etc., what could go wrong?
LW, it's people who want to abuse you and take advantage of you who tell you to ignore your instincts and just go along.
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Christians and otherwise
[Read the article: The Senate says "Om," Part 2]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If I can back up Mike Meyers and give my own pet soapbox rant simultaneously....
Will responsible journalists *please* stop automatically categorizing all Christians with these people? That's what they *want* you to do, to perpetuate their delusion that only they represent real Christianity, or serious or devout Christianity.
Yes, they're an embarrassment. And it's really really an embarrassment that literate, liberal writers are still taken in by their insistence that they are the true representatives of the faith of Jesus of Nazareth.
Where are the Salon editors on this? Behavior of this sort should automatically have "fundamentalist" or "militant" as qualifiers to the label of "Christian," which it is not.
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neoimps
[Read the article: U.S. to merge with Mexico and Canada?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Can I just say that the newly coined "neoimp" is the most inspired thing since Dan Savage re-denoted the word "santorum"?
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Agreeing with Amerigo for once
[Read the article: Battered and fired]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]<<From a risk management point of view, the presence of this unfortunate woman is more likely to pose a risk of workplace violence, which is not what you want in a kindergarten.>>
I once worked in a place where a coworker was being stalked and beaten by her ex-con boyfriend. He'd call every 20 minutes and come around looking for her, and she didn't exactly discourage him. It was intimidating and disruptive to the rest of us, seriously compromised our ability to focus on work, and made her completely useless. (I know I sound utterly heartless--no one has to tell me.)
And that was in a coffee shop. I can only imagine the threat this would pose to a preschool setting.
Yes, she's a victim and I'm sympathetic, but the risk HE poses to her colleagues and students is unacceptable, and I think the school would ethically have to keep her at a distance by whatever legal means are available until her situation stabilized. Unfortunately for all involved, it seems like they did it by illegal means.