I started making food for my cat when she was a kitten suffering from IBD (inflammatory bowel disease). I use fresh meat, eggs yolks, filtered water, and supplements (including taurine). My vet approved the recipe I use. Sometimes I think it's a hassle to make and freeze her food every month, but my cat is healthy and bouncy and I don't ever have to worry about there being a recall on the food she eats. Bonuses: She hasn't been to the vet for anything except routine vaccinations since I started feeding her homemade pet food (five years ago). She sheds less. And the litter box doesn't smell like satan's armpit. Huzzah!

The idea of offering to wait for your love is romantic, dramatic, self-sacrificing, and wonderful on paper. I bear Cary no ill will for suggesting it. But I vehemently disagree with him. If your love wants to leave, and you want a relationship with her, the only way you're going to have a chance to lead a happy life is by letting her go. Actually, by being the one to say "I love you, and it's time for you to go." That way you get to heal, she gets to move along to whatever horizon beckons, you both can find more suitable partners--OR, she'll see you sallying off and having your life and having other women be interested in you and you in them, and she'll (from the other side of the fence) think "Hmmm. Boy did I make a mistake," and see about getting you back. And if that happens, you (from your new perspective) can make a decision about whether to start again with her. But knowing you're there, as reliable and ready as an old sweater, will only make every day seem hot as summer to her. Do the counterintuitive thing. Let her go.

....a circular knitting needle on board pretty much any airline. No kidding. Did it last weekend. I took aboard a circular knitting needle. Made of metal. It has pointed ends and a really strong cord between the metal. pointed. ends (queue horror-movie music). I, a 5-foot, 6-inch, weight-workouting woman, can take a circular knitting needle aboard an aircraft. If I lose my sh!t, I could just zip that half-finished sweater off that knitting needle and take out someone's eyes and then garotte them. Or just the former. Or just the latter. Or, I could, really-fast, force my super-full plastic airline cup full of tomato juice over my seat-neighbor's nose and mouth, and with my seriously strong (remember: weight workouts) other arm make sure they couldn't dislodge it, and drown them. Right there in the seat next to me. And then I could take my circular knitting needle and ... never mind. If I continue, I may be prevented from flying at all in the future. No telling where the airline cops get their info. The upshot: Better start checking passengers for weight-lifting physiques, and divert the muscle-bound ones to Amtrak. They'll take anyone. And you'd better stop that whole drink-cart thing. They present a real terror threat. Hey maybe if you stop the whole drink-car thing, you could cut the airline attendant head count by half. Quick! Call a meeting.

My brother is developmentally disabled, and he responds well to direct requests. If one of your cleaning guys lifts your elbow up to wipe underneath it, just say, in a friendly way, "Hey, Mr. Cleaning Guy (or whatever his name is), please don't lift up my elbow. Just ask me to lift it." If he acts confused, then coach him a little: "Like this: 'Bob (or whatever your own name is), can you lift your elbow so I can clean your desk?' " It really helps to just be direct. Friendly, but firm and direct. If the cleaning folks leave paper towel scraps when they dust, or whatever else isn't acceptable, then tell their supervisor. It's their job to coach them in proper cleaning. If the cleaning guys come by to say goodbye, and butt in on meetings, then explain that you'd prefer they leave without saying goodbye. Or, make it a game. The "quietest cleaner" game. No knocking. No interrupting. Quietest cleaner gets a prize. Doesn't have to be expensive. And their supervisor can give the prize once the cleaners are away from your office. Good luck!

I see what may be a valuable nugget in Cary's response: "you cannot decide what your choice of one man or the other would say about you." (italics added). You seem to care a lot that others view you as being outside the norm, strange, exceptional. But your choices are not that strange. It's just not all that weird these days for a young woman to not want marriage or children. And it's not weird to base your choice in a partner on those decisions, so your dating an older guy who's pretty normal is not ramping up the weirdness. Here's the thing: Are you happy with him? If not, would you be happy with the other? Are you willing to live in honor of what is best for you, and not in service of how others view you? In the end, it won't matter how others have viewed you. What will distinguish you is whether you were happy, how well and thoroughly you lived and loved your life, your endeavors, and other beings. So in a way, it is as achingly simple as asking yourself what you want. Best of luck to you.

Posting to a public blog and then objecting that the public reads it is ridiculous. People who want their blogs to be private ought to password-protect them. If they prefer to remain public but object to excessive commenting, they should close the posts for comment. This is basic stuff.