This is not a race about race or gender. It is about the candidates. I would have preferred John Edwards, but he's not in it anymore. So Barack Obama it is. And why? Because I don't trust Hilary as far as I could throw her. Every single thing about her is calculated and false. She tells lies, exagerates, cackles inappropriately to demonstrate her "genuine" warmth and charm. Her policies have been designed to pander to corporate interests----interests who are apparently now abandoning her! She is, in short, a faker, a liar, and a corporate shill.

Obama may be inexperienced. But he's smart.

Hilary doesn't seem all that sharp if she can't figure out that truthfulness, rather than media manipulation, is what would have gotten her widespread support. The only reason Bill is still so popular is that he used to come across as genuine. A fundamentally decent guy. Of course, that too has changed..... The clintons have muscled their way to the front of the democratic party and it hasn't won them fans. Blind Ambition. Ruthlessness. THOSE are the things I associate with Hillary Clinton.

If Joan Walsh would wake up to the fact that people don't care one way or the other about black vs white, or man vs women, she's finally seem worthy of her job. Her ridiculous tirades just make it clear that she is under-qualified. After all of the skullduggery of the last 8 years Americans want a decent, smart person in chage --- and Hillary just doesn't pass the smell test. And at Salon, neither does Joan.

I am professional woman ---- the very base Hilary is supposed to be drawing in. And I can't think of a candidate more repulsive to everything I value than she is.

Hammerbutt had it write when he/she said:

"I get the feeling she's leaving something big out. When she says she does the laundry, housekeeping, ironing I think she's saying they still live with his parents."

I was surprised that Cary didn't even address the doormat behavior at all.

This LW, no doubt a lovely person, doesn't sound like the brightest bulb in the bunch. They must all be living in the same household, or she is going over to their house to do laundry and clean the house. I find that hard to believe.

If they do all live together, then it is alot harder to deal with. Three little kids and the in-laws all together? Unless the in-laws are dependent on the husband and LW for care, the best thing to do is get the hell out of there, and find your own place to live. If they have come to live with YOU, Ms Letterwriter, and if they can't live on their own, then you have all the power.

On the other hand that is exactly what the mother-in-law might be reacting to, a sense of self-loathing and shame in having given up her own independence. If the LW wrote this letter, focuing on the curse, and not really telling the whole story, I'd suspect there is quite alot of give and take in this hostility war, and she ought to be a little introspective about her own behavior. Was she just trying to rally Cary's support to her side by citing the horrible face-spitting incident? Were there a few times when she herself wasn't exactly noble and maybe even drove her mother-in-law to less than gracious behavior?

I know of course that European relatives can be tough to deal with. I had a friend visit me and my family when we were visiting relatives in Austria and as my friend got off the train, my mother's sister poked me in the ribs (I was a college student at the time) and said, fortunately, in German so my friend couldn't understand, "Oh my GOD! Tell your friend she is even fatter than YOU are!" That's actually pretty mild for the collection of shall we say "eccentrics"? --- that is my family. But I also know when I am responsible for bad behavior, and try to suck it up and recognize that it always takes two.

So LW, now that you got the curse off your chest and now that you're lapping up all of this curse antidote sympathy, my advice is to go back to the drawing board and ask yourself, "Are you doing anything that would make your mother-in-law WANT to curse you? Are you doing anything that would make her rather DIE than see you cursed? Is there anything in her past that accounts for her extreme behavior? Can you understand her? Can you let her know you understand her? Can you love her? She is the woman who gave you your husband ---- isn't that worth something?"

THOSE are the questions that are behind the curse thing.

First of all, as a boss, I can tell you that if someone is giving me a CV or a resume without a college graduation date, I KNOW they are afraid of seeming old. And in fact, that usually makes me think they're alot older than they are----why else would you hide it?

Also, if you supply your graduation date and then having gaps in your work experience, that is a huge red flag. So dropping early work experience is just stupid.

Finally, if their first job seems way too advanced to be a first job, then I know they are hiding their entry levels.

What if you work in an area (like academics) in which your publication record is a key aspect of your hire-ability. There are dates there. Odd as it may be, there has been pressure in those areas forever, because really, the issue is not whether or not you are old---it's whether or not you are a wunderkind. Have you achieved by age 30 what most people don't achieve until age 50?

It seems to me that is the key issue here and THAT is what we need to be addressing. Americans are unrealistic in their expectations of life and work.