I love "A la recherche de temps perdus," even tho I haven't read all volumes of the work. That's one of my dreams. However, I'm very picky about which edition I read.

I first read a volume of it ("Albertine disparue"--translated as "The Sweet Cheat Gone") for a class in French 101, ("Advanced Conversation and Composition) many years ago, when I had no clue what the work was about. (The professor had a bizarre approach to the subject, and simply assigned 100 pages/week of reading of French lit, with absolutely no guidance. Fortunately, for the second semester, we had a professor who was contemporary French, on a Fulbright).

So I, who had heard vaguely of Marcel Proust and his masterwork, grabbed a volume at random, and read it to add to my 100 page/week accumulation.

If you've read the work, you can imagine how confused I was.

Skip ahead many years. A friend read some of the work in translation for a college class in "Psychological Literature," and we talked about it. But I wouldn't read it in translation, because I was too much of a snob about reading French.

Later, I was fortunate enough to acquire a number of French books from an estate sale, including the first two volumes of "A la recherche..." What an eye-opener!

Not long after, I met a neighbor who was a young Japanese-American woman majoring in French at UCSD. We talked about the work, and she kindly checked out from the library for me some more volumes of the work, in such a wonderful edition, I want to read the rest of it.

The edition featured not just one but two sets of endnotes, one marked by numbers, the other by lower-case letters. One set was devoted to commentaries about the times, culture, and allusions of the novel. The other set was devoted to literary variations of the text. Both fascinated me.

However, my young neighbor's family moved away, and I haven't had any access to the remaining volumes of that edition, which is fairly expensive.

As a result of my linguistic snobbery, I haven't completed reading the work. (I MUST have all that explanation and commentary!)

Anyway, I have a goal for my retirement: read the rest of that edition.

In GK's defense, I cite a song I heard on his show, by Peter Ostroushko, about his Ukrainian heritage. The lyrics go:

My people are built low to the ground,

My people are built low to the ground,

My people are built low to the ground,

So they can pick potatoes.

Actually, even though I'm a huge fan of GK's, I don't care much for this piece, except the part about his daughter. That touches my heart.

Funny, I didn't even notice the dig at Texas. (I've crossed the state by land several times, on the way between CA and FL.) But then, I'm a native of CA, and am not fond of TX.

I loved GK's descriptions of this luxurious cruise. My brother and his wife went on a cruise in AK that was not so luxurious, but included hiking and camping. My SIL commented on how extraordinary it was, to reach a campsite, and not have to do any work--setting up tents, building a campfire, cooking dinner. They were fortunate enough to see Denali without clouds. They said it totally dominates the landscape.

I love GK's columns. He is one of my "internal mentors" as a writer. If I can create a story in his "voice," then I know it's good.

To me, the most significant thing LW said is that the poundage is a turnoff.

I once married a man (after such a brief time, I'm embarassed to admit how brief) whose poundage was at the outer limits of what turned me on. After we got married, he quickly gained so much poundage he actually turned me off.

I didn't care what anybody else thought about him. In many ways, he was ideal for me--brilliant, witty, creative, with a promising future career. (It also turned out that he had some other traits that were worse than obnoxious.)

He was 6'4", and when we met he weighed about 240 lbs. After we married, he quickly gained more than 60 pounds. (His weight became more than the standard 300# the scale in a doctor's office can measure.)

His big fat body grossed me out. Even so, I remained married to him for almost 15 years, producing 3 children.

I can't say I regret the marriage, because I would've never had the children I have without it. But I was so disgusted with my husband's body, for so many years, I can only encourage LW to say goodbye to this guy. It'll probably only get worse. (I eventually divorced said husband.)

Do not think you are being superficial. If you can overcome your aversion to his fat body, then brava for you. But don't feel inadequate or superficial if you can't.

I wish you both the best.

Some writers have mentioned borderline personality disorder, and perhaps that's true. But I vote for bipolar disorder.

I used to be married to a man who would blow up and become physically violent about every 3 months. It really didn't matter what I did or did not do. His violence came "out of nowhere." The only factor that seemed consistent was the frequency--about every 3 months.

I, too, thought he was "the love of my life." But I never dreamed of a man who became utterly irrational and violent.

Get away from him, LW. His anger is not your fault (no matter how "manipulative" you may be), and you don't deserve his bullshit.