Love your column and your writing. As always, I found something for myself in your consideration and advice for the fellow 40 something. But I'm writing about your opening statement. About how people can sometimes be so mean in their comments.

I'm a blogger, I post videos on YouTube about cooking. Fairly innocuous, right? Wrong. I get plenty of love but occasionally, I get angry, mean-spirited and judgemental comments. Why? I don't know. Maybe some angry viewers think we are merely cyber creatures. But, when you honestly share your knowledge, your passion with people, even when just talking about a chicken, (and I have a tiny fraction of your audience), it takes energy, and risk and yes, a bit of your soul. It's worth it to me, I get back a lot of good. But to have it thrown back with pointed hostility is shocking. And I'm not talking about civil disagreements or even outright criticism, that can be useful. It's the utter rudeness. The faceless rudeness that people engage in for no apparent reason. So, in short, I feel you and understand. Thanks. Again, I love your work. Inspirational on so many levels. Be well. Best, hj

I disagree with the tin eared comment about his grandmother. It was very salient. You try being a kid and having a woman you love and need say horrible things about the group you belong to, if only in part. You bet it causes great pain. Obama was referring to that feeling of having someone you love claim part of you, but reject the other vehemently. His pastor brings up the same feeling. Welcome to true and honest multiculturalism, and don't rush to make comparisons. We are equal, yes, but not identical.

I heard my own grandmother, a light-skinned Jamaican immigrant, say horrible things about black folks. Particularly about nappy hair, which I have in abundance. Her color-struck upbringing, thankfully, was outweighed by her love for me, but I know the feeling of cringing at racist words from your own people.

He was brave beyond measure in this speech.

Well, you certainly opened my eyes. As a 40 something black woman, I have heard such comments as Wright's, and frankly, often from crazy old uncles and the like, and NEVER in church. But the comments of Instapunk were really new to my post integrationist ears. When I think angry white folks who hate black people and think of some of us as N***ers, I rarely think of educated and articulate people. By his scale I guess I get a pass because I'm a Harvard educated writer. But I don't know, I wear dread locks, and rather like hip hop, and my car is kind of old. We can't all be Tiger Woods, you know. Sarcasm aside, this subjective racism really scares me, as you never know when you will be utterly dehumanized. And once that happens, things get pretty dangerous regardless of race. Whether is is OJ (who for the record I think is guilty as sin) or my Godson, or Instapunk himself, humanity is not subjective.

PS If this represents a significant portion of the right wing, no wonder the Clintons are such dirty fighters.

I'm tempted to say race is playing here, but that is only part of the story. I'm a black woman from NYC. I voted for my NY senator in the primary because I just wasn't acquainted with Senator Obama. I liked what I saw, but I hadn't seen enough. That was February. By now, I have, but I've been far more engaged in this process than most. Ok, obsessed is a better word. The more he hangs in there, and shows who he is, (The more specifics the better!) the greater his lead will be. This is what happens when you are a 46 year old African American man with a name that sounds unusual to many "American" ears. Folks need to see more. And he's giving them every opportunity to do so. Love your work, Joan. Glad you coming to my town, enjoy it!