my gym has just got a new music system. there are two big flat screens in the cardio studio which display music videos while the music plays. the whole thing is controlled by a computer at the main desk where the trainers can make playlists, change the music etc. this would be great except the music is pretty terrible- generic R&B, hip hop, techno stuff. just once i managed to convince my trainer to put on something decent- debaser, by the pixies. i was surprised they even had it in their library.

so i bring my own music- i have one of those little clip on shuffles which is less ungainly than my ipod- which usually includes:

-metric

-pixies

-dandy warhols

-nine inch nails

-BRMC

-arcade fire

-pluto

-mint chicks

-shins

i like music which starts off with a strong fast tempo so theres no lag between the songs. once i'm done with cardio i don't mind what plays just as long as it doesn't make me want to concuss myself with a free weight. i also think variety is really important because decent music makes working out more enjoyable. some of my best friends listen to techno. i just don't want to hear it at 6 am.

i think a valid point was made here but, as it was explained to me, the term 'carbon' not only refers to carbon dioxide but to other carbon-containing gases- like hydrocarbons, such as methane (CH4) which is also a significant green house gas.

so maybe we should be saying 'organic (compound) neutral'?

OCD aside, you sound like a responsible pet owner. You love your cats and want what is best for them. i doubt your cats are enjoying the kind of 'affection' they are currently receiving, and its probably just their good nature which has stopped them from scratching your room mate.

cats aren't people, they prefer different expressions of affection. perhaps if you were able to explain the types of affectionate displays your pets prefer, then your room mate will be able to treat them in a manner that they will enjoy.

if your boyfriend's hair loss is due to stress then there are a lot of thing he can try before admitting defeat. as someone who has had their hair stop growing due to stress and illness i can commiserate.

i would highly recommend not only seeing a conventional doctor but a natropath or even a nutritionalist as hair loss/ thinning rarely has one cause and is affected by diet and stress. yoga, meditation and running all helped me not only to de-stress but to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

hair loss is a total bitch. the best thing you can do is encourage your boyfriend to be proactive and be supportive of him regardless.

no means no. no children at the wedding. not your best friend's, not your cousin's, not your future-sister-in-law/ whatever's kids. 'if you can't vote, then you can't come'.

this is not an unreasonable request. you currently have no children of your own and there is absolutely no reason for any to attend. in fact, what parent would want to drag a small child to a wedding? weddings (with the exception of the cake perhaps) are the antithesis of what any child would deem a fun day out. fancy clothes, having to sit quietly for what seems like an age and boring grown up activities until well past bed time.

many people request that no children attend their weddings. it is not an unreasonable request. its not their day, its yours. a day for you and your loved ones to do grown up things. declare your love, eat good food (and cake), drink wine and dance til dawn.

there will be plenty of days solely for the children and for your nephew. days when the centre of attention will be your nephew and his parents. but your wedding will not be one of those days.

explain that your wedding is not the place for any child, let alone a newborn. the same will be asked of all other attendees.

say this firmly and frequently. there is no need for excessive emotion or explanation. "(insert name) you should be aware that we will not be having any children attending our wedding. we asking this of all our guests". there will be no children. and someday, should this women marry your future brother-in-law she too can dictate the terms of her own wedding. and it really is just as simple as that.

to the above future bride- i am a committed vegetarian. i believe that it is preferable to eating meat. but nothing pisses me off more than fellow vegetarians who just wont shut up about it. vegetarianism is not for everyone. chances are the people who do convert do it of their own free will, not because you berate them about their cholesterol levels.

humans are omnivores but some of us choose not to be. you like prime rib. this is something you have thought about for a long time. you are going to have prime rib. if your friend has a problem with this (i mean its not like you sprung it on her) then perhaps she could eat at another table? alternatively, serve her some fried tofu strips in bbq or chili sauce. it will taste delicious and will only take the caterers a few moment to prepare. maybe not as good as prime rib, but at least you will be making an effort to accomodate her new found ideology.

this all ties back into the original letter, i swear. your wedding doesn't need to be perfect. its just a party with some legal hoo haa thrown in. but it is still your party. you pay for it and if you want it to be child-free or serve meat or dress like a pirate then you go right ahead and do that. anyone who disagrees can just stay at home. more cake for the rest of you.