I am the main breadwinner in our house, and I have one of those househusbands who bakes bread from scratch and packs my lunch. I do sometimes wish he did things the way I would do them were I the one at home, but I don't see it as a big enough deal to fight over it. I think that many breadwinner women like myself go into a marriage without being clear as to who will take what role, and how that will affect your household finances. If you expect that you and your husband will both work high-profile jobs and hire a maid, and then he reveals that he wants to stay home and garden, that can be a shock, and if you don't talk it out, it can lead to resentment. Of course, we have avoided the concern about who takes a bigger role in childrearing by choosing not to have children. Should we change our minds, I imagine we'll have to renegotiate that a bit. I hope we can continue to be clear with each other about what we need and expect.

I wonder how long the cougher has been working in this building. If he's been there a while, perhaps he is being made ill by something in the building (mold? asbestos? clogged air filters?) and it is just a matter of time before everyone develops their own annoying cough, because there is something wrong there. After several people became sick at my husband's last job, it was discovered that the attic of their 100-year-old building, which was almost never opened up, was hosting a whole cave of bats, and that the floors were covered in guano, that was releasing nasty things into the air of the entire building. No wonder people kept getting sick.

Rather than having police raid your neighborhood to take away your neighbor's family dog to euthanize it because you are scared of the breed, can't we just enforce the leash laws that exist in nearly every community? Heck, add muzzling laws across the board if you are still worried. I'd like to see the nasty Lhasa Apso in my apartment complex muzzled, since it tries to attack my beagle every time we meet it on a walk. However, it's owner keeps it on a leash, so we just pull them apart and continue on our way--no harm, no foul. Why would people prefer to see other's pets killed than to be serious about requiring owners to responsibly restrain and handle their dogs in public?

The dad has made his decision to leave, and though I think it seems premature to try that, perhaps this is a good point for the rest of this baby's family to step in and help out. For instance, Mr. Expat could make an effort to come back to the States more frequently to be a part of the baby's life as he grows. Perhaps he can send a financial "gift" once in a while to help the not-quite-SIL out, or when Jr. is older, invite him to come spend a summer in whatever country he lives in. None of this is better than having an involved father, but it will certainly be good for the baby, nonetheless. My father wasn't much interested in me once he left our family, but my aunts still were, and that was a nice connection to have.

She worked hard to win this pageant, she likely gave a fairly articulate answer, and nobody invited her to the Today show. I've seen Miss South Carolina all over the news, but barely even a mention of the girl who won. So who are we celebrating as an ideal? Apparently the way to steal the winner's thunder is to lose spectacularly. All publicity is good publicity, right? Miss South Carolina will likely get a job as the new teen correspondent for NBC news from this. :-)

My best friend and her husband have just adopted their second son. I can't claim to have experienced the pain of infertility that you guys have, but I have seen it in her life, and I am so pleased to report that they have come out the other side with these two gorgeous boys that needed a better shot at life than they would otherwise have gotten. Maybe a path like this is meant for you? Maybe it's something you can explore? Your synagogue may be able to put you in touch with an adoption agency that could just give you some information to consider, while you are caring for yourself and your husband and strengthening your marriage.

As to the yarmukle issue, perhaps your husband can stay home this year and participate in other ways. Can he be cooking the holiday feast while you are at services? You can share the "family time" part of this occasion without forcing him to conform to a belief system that he has trouble with.

Best of luck and big hugs to you!

I see, it would be much better to make fat children go around naked so that they will be so humiliated that they will starve themselves to meet your social directive of forced thinness.

What is wrong with the idea that people are meant to have different body shapes? Not everyone is genetically predisposed to being thin and willowy, anymore than everyone is genetically predisposed to be blonde-haired and blue-eyed. Can't we just let other people be, and not feel a need to stick our nose in their private business, which includes their eating habits and body size? How does any fat teenager's desire to be fat and fashionable hurt you?

This is why, though I live in the very center of Bank of America land, I do my banking at the local credit union. No-surcharge ATMs, fee-free checking, dividends that are higher than the average interest rate on savings--all of these make it a good way to bank. Don't let Bank of America rule you!