Letters to the Editor
smiley_creek
Published Letters: 15 Editor's Choice: 1
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We Are, Indeed, What We Eat
[Read the article: I'm so vegan it hurts]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It has been my observation, after years of both knowing and medically treating many vegans, that an increasingly rigid diet leads to an increasingly rigid outlook on life and other people, along with an inability to flexibly interpret and respond to life's nuances.
Neither, I believe, are in the best interests of personal or societal health.
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I Could Have Been Her.......
[Read the article: During the blizzard, I refused to shelter my friend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Oh my, I could have written that letter myself 20 years ago when I was young and selfish and short-sighted (and, not surprisingly, had very few real friends). Fortunately I married a man who taught me how to truly be a friend.
The first time my BF (now husband) scrapped our plans to come to the aid of a friend I was hurt and upset and thought my BF had boundary problems and that the friend's problem was no big deal.
BUT, thank heaven, at the same time I had enough awareness to realize that if my BF would be willing to rescue a friend on short notice without a thought for his own inconvenience he might, just MIGHT, be someone worth seriously considering for the long term. That he might be just as willing to put my needs above his own no matter how unreasonable they might seem. That this was someone I could truly trust and count on.
Not long ago my husband got a phone call from a bay area friend he had not heard from in over 15 years who badly needed a weekend retreat in order to get his life together. This time I was able to say, "Of course-- tell him he's welcome" even though the guy was a totally narcissitic pain in the ass and disrupted our entire weekend.
So what? It was still the right thing to do even though my weekend was "ruined."
I just hope the LW grows up. The art of friendship has to be learned by some of us, but it's a worthy lesson.
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Wait a While
[Read the article: My queer radical feminist peers are aghast that I want to marry]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You're a long time married and a short time single.
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Be Suspicious.....Very Suspicious
[Read the article: My husband is making me suspicious]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A year ago I got an email from High School Boyfriend (HSB, whom I hadn't heard from in about 30 years).
The first thing I wrote back was that I would be happy to catch up on old times with him ****PROVIDED**** it was ok with his wife. After HSB and I broke up he dated and then married another classmate, and I had no desire to make her feel threatened in any way.
A few days went by, then he wrote back-- yes, his wife was perfectly fine with our renewing our friendship. I told him that he should know that my husband was also ok with it, was basically the Least Jealous Man on the Planet, and that I had told my husband I was creating a separate folder for our correspondance that he could feel free to read through any time he chose.
I did not tell HSB that my while my husband appreciated my saying this he would likely never bother, because he trusts me. I figured that if HSB imagined my husband reading his emails he wouldn't attempt to re-kindle any old flames.
During the ensuing lengthy correspondance with HSB I re-discovered that he was a fairly slimy person with slippery ethics. I had a lot of fun telling my husband the kinds of things HSB was up to. HSB gradually confessed to having several affairs, including a current one with a "Working Girl" whom he was no longer paying for her attentions. Shortly after this his wife discovered his infidelities and they went into counseling. I asked him if his wife was still ok with our email friendship and he finally admitted the truth-- that he had never told her about being in contact with me in the first place. (By now, of course, I wasn't exactly shocked to discover that his lack of integrity extended to me, as well!)
That was the end of our correspondance. I've never read or responded to another email of his.
If a person has nothing to hide, then they hide nothing.
If a person is hiding something, it's probably for a good reason.
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Saved from the dreaded middle-aged Musical Ossification
[Read the article: iPod: I love you, you're perfect, now change]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Once I'd filled my new iPod with songs I already knew it created a hunger in me to hear new music, which I found starting with Salon's Daily Download and spreading outwards from there to sites like The Hype Machine that aggregates new music from dozens of bloggers.
I hadn't listened to new music in YEARS, but with the portable nano accompanying me on my commute, my gym workouts, and my many hours of outdoor gardening work it just begged for new tunes.
I load all new songs into a New Downloads playlist, weed out the less than stellar songs, and about once a month burn it to CD with my own artwork or imagery from the internet for stereo play. I generally burn a copy for younger friends who also enjoy the new music. The iPod becomes my pre-screening device for what will make it to CD.
The other main use for the Nano that no one has mentioned is that it's great for listening to Audible books. Sign up for a package rate and you can listen to new books as they come out for as little as $10-- while those books are still in hardback. If I really love an audiobook I then go buy it in hardback (used) at Amazon.
The end result-- a constant flow of new books, ideas, and songs into my life. This can only be good for the brain!