Letters to the Editor
Parson Jim
Published Letters: 732 Editor's Choice: 7
-
A Lettter from Maegan Black
[Read the article: Can feminism help your love life?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Maegan Black has written a powerful letter in which she describes her childhood growing up in a house where her mother frequently abused her father, and how nobody would help her because of the "woman good/man bad" mentality that surrounds the domestic violence issue. Maegan writes:
"As a child I grew up watching my mother commit multiple acts of violence against my dad. The earliest incident I remember occurred when I was four, and my mother continued to be violent up until April of 2003.
"No one would help. Teachers, parents of friends, anyone I tried to talk to about what was going on at home basically told me I didn't understand, and that my mother couldn't possibly be the violent party. The few times the police came to our home, they would always be ready to arrest my father, sometimes getting so far as to put the handcuffs on him, and it was up to me to scream as loud as possible that it was my mommy and not my daddy so they wouldn't take him away and leave me with her.
"Sometimes when my mom would attack, Pops would try to defend himself, just to get her off him, stop hitting him, whatever. Every time he defended himself, whether he left bruises or not, Mom would go get a restraining order. She didn't have to show bruises or prove she was in danger or anything, just saying she was 'afraid' was enough.
"I grew up in this sort of environment and I learned the only way to survive was to watch every argument they had and be ready to interject myself as a distraction if I could before violence happened. I grew up paranoid and feeling like the safety in my house was something only I was responsible for. If Mom became violent, it meant I FAILED. That feeling would hit me like a bucket of cold water, but there wouldn't be any time for feeling sorry for myself. My next task was to try to break it up, screaming, threatening, pleading, whatever. I had to make sure no details escaped me because if the cops got called they'd just believe my mom without question, and it was MY job to make sure the truth at least got heard.
"Somehow, probably through the grace of God, I came out of my childhood relatively normal. I learned to deal with my family's weird problems and history by trying to understand it the best I could. I became something of an armchair psychologist, really. Today I have a functional and friendly relationship with both of my parents. After 2003 my mother voluntarily got help for her abusive ways and has become a totally different person. I can say honestly that I like her, and it is possible that somewhere deep down that I love her.
"About a year and a half ago my father and I were introduced to Marc Angelucci, a leader of the Los Angeles chapter of the National Coalition of Free Men, and he asked us if we would be interested in trying to change the sort of treatment and attention male victims of domestic violence receive. He talked to us about the California Battered Women Protection Act of 1994, which codified in Health &
Safety Codes Section 124250 that defined domestic violence as something only experienced by women. This particular code created funding for domestic violence shelters and services. Because the law defines only women as victims of domestic violence, there is NO MONEY for male victims of domestic violence. The children of couples where the woman is the aggressor and the man is the victim are left with NOTHING. No help, no voice, no place to turn, and if their father does somehow manage to get out, they'll more likely than not live with their abusive mother.
"Lovely system, really. When Marc explained all this me I wanted to cry. Groups which shout at the top of their lungs that they're helping women and children escape from violent and possibly life-threatening situations had shut the door on my family. They had made sure that my father could never get help, endangering me in the process, all in the name of gender politics and someone's personal agenda.
"Pops and I agreed to help Marc try to change this law. We're now currently suing the State in Black v. California to try to get that law changed. We just want the to be gender neutral, so men are helped and women are helped. End of subject. My interest is for kids growing up now in situations similar to what mine was to be helped and have their families helped the way I wasn't and my family wasn't."
From http://www.glennsacks.com/enewsletters/enews_3_14_06.htm#Abused_Mans_Daughter_Speaks_Out
-
Fetboy denies reality
[Read the article: Can feminism help your love life?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]From the Centers for Disease Control website:
http://0-www.cdc.gov.mill1.sjlibrary.org/ncipc/factsheets/ipvfacts.htm
Nearly 5.3 million incidents of IPV occur each year among U.S. women ages 18 and older, and 3.2 million occur among men. Most assaults are relatively minor and consist of pushing, grabbing, shoving, slapping, and hitting (Tjaden and Thoennes 2000a).
In the United States every year, about 1.5 million women and more than 800,000 men are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner. This translates into about 47 IPV assaults per 1,000 women and 32 assaults per 1,000 men (Tjaden and Thoennes 2000a).
Estimates indicate more than 1 million women and 371,000 men are stalked by intimate partners each year (Tjaden and Thoennes 2000a).
In 2002, 76% of IPV homicide victims were female; 24% were male (Fox and Zawitz 2004).
A national study found that 29% of women and 22% of men had experienced physical, sexual, or psychological IPV during their lifetime (Coker et al. 2002).
Wake up, fetboy. Your emotional incontinence is no substitute for facts.
-
fetboy offends all around
[Read the article: Can feminism help your love life?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]As an Armenian-American, I take offense at your casual mention of the Mec Ejer'n.
As for Glenn Sacks, he is very balanced and fair-minded. His site does not take the bigoted and sexist positions that many of the Broadsheet blogroll sites do.