I'm currently between jobs, but nothing happened at my previous job that transformed my life. The first thing that transformed my life was my father's death.

I got the word while I was on a short vacation with my girlfriend at the time. I literally rushed from Fort Lauderdale Beach to the Orlando airport to catch the plane. I had to wear one of my dad's old suits to his funeral.

It was the first death within my immediate family, and it hit hard. I came back to Orlando to contemplate my mortality, what I had done, what I hadn't done, and what I wanted to do. My girlfriend wasn't in the equation. I was on my own.

I went to The Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time that night.

I ended up attending the show a lot, when I could get away from my lady friend, whom I realized was wrong for a life partner - something I had denied. The day I broke up with her, I went to a meeting of the Rocky Live Cast, joined it, and within a short time I was performing "on stage" for the first time in my life.

Work changed me, but only slightly. I realized that there is the work you do to support your life, and there are the hobbies and activities you do to support your soul. They aren't compatible, sometimes they are contradictory, but that's the way life is.

I met a guy in a cigar bar once who told me he had just gotten back from 9 months in Fiji... As we talked further, I learned he was an electrical engineer. Rather than sign on and work full time for anyone, he chose to do contract jobs. He would work like hell until his contract ran out, and then just take off somewhere to paint and relax until his money ran low, when he would look for another contract assignment.

I asked him why he did this, and he replied: "It is my desire to life a life of death-bed regret avoidance"... "I do something special for myself whenever I get the chance".

His words stayed with me, and I soon found I was following his path, in my own way. I chose a little one bedroom condo over a big spread in the 'burbs, and drive an old car I haven't made a payment on in 10 years. I work part time and take long walks. I have a girlfriend instead of a wife, and am "child free". I love my job and can't wait to get to work, as I know I'll be going home in just 4 1/2 hours after my workday begins.

My yuppie friends and co-workers all think I'm crazy, but I feel like I'm already living in heaven. I recommend this lifestyle to all who will listen. When all is said and done, and you reach the end of your life, how will you feel about how you spent your days. I like to think I'll die with a smile on my face, as I chose a life of death-bed regret avoidance!

I love Heather's column and de Botton is one of my favorite writers ("On Love" was particularly enjoyable), so it was a treat to read this review. I didn't think this book was available in the States yet, but I'll look for it now.

@synesthesia56-- I also drive an old car and own a tiny, paid-off condo, and I'm childless, but I still haven't found a way to work part-time (my dream). I'm afraid the health insurance costs alone would kill me!

@ synesthesia56 Mind if I ask what you do for that 4 1/2 hours?

I'm printing your post out and taping it to my desk at the office. I drive a 20-year-old pickup and have a 2-bedroom condo and a bicycle. I'm single and child free. I have 2 1/2 years left until my mortgage is paid off at which point I retire to a federal pension and great med/dental benefits (Ca-na-da ... )

In other words I'm very, very lucky. I just don't know what to do "after".

I too have been unemployed for the past six months. In that time I have spent at least 2 hours every day writing, 2 hours (at least) reading and 2 hours walking in my beachside neighborhood. I have lost 32 pounds. I have stacked up thousands of words on writing projects that had languished while I was working 50+ hours per week at a job that I hated everything about (except the paycheck & health insurance.)

I'm living a dream - but as with any dream, I have to wake up soon. As an old DIY punk rocker (and native New Englander I suppose) while I WAS working I still lived BELOW my means: My car is 11 years old, I socked away whatever extra $ I accumulated etc... and on the day I was laid off, I owed zero on my credit cards... So, when the hammer came down I was well-positioned to weather the storm... but not forever... While I continue to smile, read, write and stroll through my days, my nights are getting tougher as I lay in bed trying to convince myself that everything will work out as it always has, that "something will come along" and that I won't have to lose my sweet little apartment and slide down the few rungs of the ladder I had managed to ge up.

...but that sun sure feels nice...

I've read everything he's ever published and I can't get enough of his amazingly thorough handling of the human psyche.

You owe it to yourselves to get this book. I devour his words in one quick read, and then I go back again and digest them at leisure.

RICHLY satisfying.

"...places which in reality cannot be exempt from tedium and compromise, but which are distant enough to support for a time certain confused daydreams of happiness."

Heather's in looooove...

P. S. I'm a Surgical Technologist... A high school education, and 11 months of technical school... Cost me around $750 (in 1981) if I remember correctly. I paid it off within a year. Now making $26/hr. If you have no debts, this goes a long way. Like working full time for $13/hr.

Debt is the new slavery... Avoid it like the plague!