I've always wanted my wife to wear a diamond, but I can't quite get around all the problems that surround the diamond industry. Something about pictures of kids without hands, and the drastic difference between the diamond companies and the poverty stricken people who dig them up. So, when I was looking on line for an engagement ring, I came across Moissanite Fine Jewelry.com Not only did they have beautiful rings, but they had a ton of information about what Moissanites were all about. I bought her a 2 carat Moissanite, and we kept the rest to help with a down payment on our first home. It was a really smart move, and she loves her ring.

When we got engaged, my husband bought me a new motorcycle (a Harley-Davidson, which has its own warped marketing) instead of a ring. I've never been big on jewelry, and I couldn't stand the thought of some poor kid mining the earth for some bling on my finger. The beauty of having the bike as a gift instead of, say, saving the money for a house down-payment or him paying off my student loans, is that when other women ask me about why I don't have a ring, they STFU when I tell them I got a motorcycle instead! Though, maybe they're just relieved that I got *something* for my maidenhead.

For the several people who are wondering where to get moissanite jewelry, you can go to the Charles and Colvard website (www.moissanite.com) to find out where to get it. My husband bought my earrings at JC Penney. They are not exactly cheap, but less expensive than diamonds and really nice-quality jewelry.

I often think some women equate an engagement ring with the value of a marriage, when it's nothing more than jewelry!

Good point. I've never gotten the whole "It has to be X week's/month's salary or else!" thang some women do. What a load of hor$se$hit. That attitude repulses me (in a man or a woman).

Sometimes women are their own worst [sexist] enemies.

or just coincidence.

At any rate, for those of us viewing Salon for free with ads, there's a list of 5 Googled locations for buying the perfect diamond along side this article in the right-hand margin.

If this were the real world, you'd be my kind of friend. I'm stunned at the letters here describing how women judge each other by the size of their engagement rings. I've never experienced this myself, but am fairly selective about the kinds of women friends I have. (And, also, I have a simple wedding band - no engagement ring at all, so perhaps other women are being selective by ruling me out as a friend!)

that Salon had posted an article not too long about the alternative to diamonds: synethically lab-created diamonds that don't require hard labor?

Here's the link to the article "Nice Ice": http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/the_big_idea/2004/12/24/diamonds/index1.html?pn=1

Enjoy.

I'm sure you meant that as some kind of slam against Rob but you are still 100% correct. Men who get sex for giving jewelry to their wife are just as bad as women who give sex for getting jewelry.

If all things were equal a woman would buy her fiancée an engagement boat or maybe a nice motorcycle so he can brag to his friends about how much his future wife loves him.

Of course the boat would have to be made by some poor third world child with one hand to make it an equal testament of her love.

If my boyfriend and I were going to get married and he gave me a choice between a diamond engagement ring and a four-piece Ludwig Classic Maple drum set, I'd be all over the drum set. Wouldn't even have to think about it. Heck, I'd even spring for the cymbals myself.

OTOH, if all he could afford to give me was a tambourine, or the ring equivalent thereof, I'd treasure that too. I just don't get this "the size of his love equals the size of your rock" crap. Does anyone really believe that?

"Women Who Literally Demand Expensive Diamond Engagement Rings Are Acting Like Whores"

That means the men who buy those rings are acting like johns.

It's really that simple. And while I'm at it, so are women who "expect" their boyfriends/fiances to constantly treat them to lavishly expensive trips, meals and weekend getaways. This all starts in high school (and what societal dysfunction doesn't??), and many boys grow up to be men who likewise feel that they are entitled to a good screw after providing said lavishness. And then women wonder why men are the way so many of them are.

Having been told to research possible engagement rings for my self recently (!), I have spent hours scouring the internet for jewelry that doesn't offend my environmental sensibilities. I don't know where to get Moissanite (sp?) stones, but the following sites were the most environmentally friendly/socially conscious that I found:

www.greenkarat.com

www.leberjeweler.com/earthwise/index.html

www.cred.tv/index.html

www.brilliantearth.com

GreenKarat is pretty cool because all the stones are created and all the metals are recyled.

Personally I'd sooner compost my twenty thousand dollar bills than buy a diamond ring. So I am amazed how deep the diamond ad blitz has invaded our psyche. Check out May 24, 2006 NPR Talk of the Nation Program, where Tom Zoellner was interviewed for this book. For the most part of the show, the host Michel Martin seemed to agree that diamond was nothing but a scam concocted by the diamond industry. Then 18 minutes into the show a man called in and talked about how his wife had always disliked diamond and found it stupid to spend globs of money on it. Michel immediately said, "Just be sure to keep her away from my husband, because I am not of that view."

So here is a presumably highly intelligent woman who obviously understands the potentially sordid history of the diamond she possesses and its worthless market value. Yet she could not break away from the man-made "mythical" allure. How very facinating