- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
I whole-heartedly agree with Joan Walsh's take on Caitlin Flanagan. Moreover, I can't stand this "mommy wars" crap.
The career vs. homemaker issue is too arbitrary. I can't think of any two women I know who have the exact same set of social and financial circumstances. Some women work because they can't afford not to. For example: the "Third World Nannies." Many of whom have children of their own being supervised at home by a relative. They're supporting that brood by watching... Mrs. Flanagan's, for example.
Face it: In reality, there are not two groups of women at every school function making snarky comments about each other. That sounds more like a sitcom than real life. Just like women come in all colors and sizes, we come with wildly varying points of view. That's because we are INDIVIDUALS. Not just one label or another.
My mother and father come from a very traditional Irish Catholic background. They married young and had me right away. During the '70s and '80s, they were the minority among their peers. We were also the minority in our working class neighborhood.
Being the brilliant woman she is, my mother's friends were always suggesting she go back to school, write or find a career outside the home. With me plus the four siblings who came after, those were not attainable goals. There just wasn't time and my dad didn't make enough money for her to pursue those options.
How bitter she was for all those years.
She loved us with all her heart and was the best mom anyone could ask for. Still, my sisters and I felt we were at fault for her unhappiness.
Was feminism to blame for all that angst and guilt? Hell no. It was a very specific time and place. It involved specific people.
Mom finally got her Bachelor's degree in 2002. She is still taking classes and is on her way to becoming an art appraiser. I've never seen her and my father so happy. She says she has no regrets now, but I struggle to accept that as the truth.
