<<They made me welcome in their midst, and by so doing, they made me feel like a bit of a shithead, like an arrogant prick know-it-all>>

I find that admission by the female author revealing as a clue to the mindset I so often encounter among left leaning women and, less often, men.

As someone stated on here a couple of days ago, feminism pretty much gained all it wanted in the seventies (with some exceptions), and since then it has become an ever more shrill man bashing fest as faminists dedicate themselves to trying to make a perfect life in an imperfect world, often by stepping over and shortchanging men in the process.

It IS difficult to be a man when you are a male who was raised to believe and internalizes that he is supposed to be sensitive as well as tough, fulfill his role as status object or face rejection, and at the same time take hits from women who perceive any non PC action or comment as further evidence that men are horrid alien beasts bent on destroying women whenever possible, and unworthy of being treated as humans.

So the author's revealing comment was a welcome breath of honesty from a woman who apparently would be considered representative of the typical thinking and attitudes of leftist women.

Great review by O'Hehir by the way. I wish some of his wisdom could be transferred over to the immature Broadsheet screeds.

I am eager to read the book too!

<<I think a lot of us feel like we need to be doing all of these things at once; male or female, it's not a relaxing prospect. Hell, look at J. Edgar Hoover.>>

I venture the mark of a smart person is to become resourceful, drop or delegate the unnecessary tasks, rework one's life to make it simpler, drop those people and tasks that would complicate your life, and generally make keeping one's sanity a high priority.

Good review...except...when O'Hehir writes...

Clearly she doesn't want "Self-Made Man" to be read primarily as the Lesbian Guide to Manhood, and you could argue that someone like her, who has sexual experience in both directions but is now detached from the dramas of heterosexuality, makes the ideal subject for this experiment.

+++

My best friend is a lesbian...and knowing and talking to her... there are just as many...dramas of homosexuality...out there.

I enjoyed this article and I agree with the other commentators that it was far superior to most of Salon's writing about gender, but this one aside really shocked me: "America's most detested minority, working-class white men". Really?

Are working-class white men afraid to leave a bar alone at night because someone might be waiting to beat them up (like gay men) or rape them (like women)? Are working-class white men assumed to be gang members or drug dealers just because of the color of their skin? Do they make up a percentage of death-row inmates that is significantly higher than their percentage in the overall population?

While there is no doubt that working-class white men have it tough sometimes in this economic and social climate, it is dishonest and frankly patriarchal and racist to suggest that they are as oppressed or more oppressed than those people who actually feel the day-to-day effects of long-term, institutionalized, deeply-ingrained prejudice carefully built and maintained by those in power over the centuries.

>>"It IS difficult to be a man when you are a male who was raised to believe and internalizes that he is supposed to be sensitive as well as tough, fulfill his role as status object or face rejection, and at the same time take hits from women who perceive any non PC action or comment as further evidence that men are horrid alien beasts bent on destroying women whenever possible, and unworthy of being treated as humans."<<

Wow. I'm so sorry to hear that. Guess what, brightstar? It's even harder to be a woman, to have to be tough and successful, but still dumb it down enough so you don't turn off the average guy. Straight women are expected to do everything for themselves AND everything for the guy in their lives AND everything for any children they have. At least a role as a "status object" (a role women also have, by the way) gives you more of an advantage than a role as a sex object, in which your value can only decline the longer you're alive.

You're complaining about being called on your "non PC" i.e. misogynist bullshit by women? Try "taking hits" from men who like to remind women that they can always easily be physically and sexually victimized. Try being stared at by people who can easily overpower you and want you to know that. Try remembering to be aware of every situation you're in at night and protecting yourself from the obvious threats of rape and assault. And that's just the physical dangers!

God, I hope you come back as a woman in your next life. Not that you're ever likely to learn anything.

In the long, and generally good, article on Norah Vincent, I think that Andrew O'Hehir can be forgiven for the sentence starting with "On her own among America's most detested minority, working-class white men". Somehow I missed this "detested minority". In this age of offshore outsourcing and stagnant wages, I see less and less difference between my "working-class" breatheren and those of us who are "white collar" workers. The jobs of steel workers have been offshored to Asia. The jobs of software engineers to India. Our wages are now that that far apart, at least when it comes to professions like machinists, unionized steel workers and plumbers. So I would argue that if "working-class white men" are a detested minority, then so am I. Yeah, I don't happen to bowl, but its a regional thing. You could find the same sort of male comradery in Bay Area basketball or hockey leagues full of "white collar" professionals.

I have to respond to the writer who referred to the content on Broadsheet as "you go girl drivel." Have you read Broadsheet today? Which of these stories seemed the most lightweight?

1. The story about how a New Jersey county will not allow dying police officer Laurel Hester to transfer her pension to her domestic partner

2. The story about how the lack of world census data makes it difficult to determine how many women live in China, India, or 41 or the 55 countries in Africa - and thus difficult to assess their health, education, and economic needs

Certainly some Broadsheet articles highlight victories for women's equality, but to paraphrase my dad's statement one father's day when I asked "When is it kids' day?" - EVERY day is white man's day.

Really. This group has been demonized by just about everyone, including the Left, as being racist, misogynistic, and stupid. Notice that every pejorative term in the English language is verbotten except "redneck and "white trash." It's as if this ultimately POWERLESS was the cause of every gender and race problem in America, which is completely ridiculous. In most of these households, both partners must work and make equal sacrifices to support their families. This is a practical decision that must be made, and not a political statement. They don't have the luxery of oppressing women by forcing them to stay at home. On the same note, factories and working-class neighborhood bars are more racially diverse than board rooms, Whole Foods markets, and trendy hipster bars.

hey, O'hehir...I'm just say'in this sounds a little James Frey to me...in his review of My life as a man...James O'Hehir writes...

I briefly went out with a lawyer who abhorred porn, and who subscribed to the Catharine MacKinnon ideology that it was itself a form of sexual violence that should be outlawed. At least that was her story during the daylight hours -- until the pile of impressively filthy magazines under her bed came out late at night, after three or four vodkas.

++++

a little embellished? I do not believe this little vignette...one of your million little pieces I’m sure.