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Friday, January 20, 2006 12:00 AM

My life as a man

Dressed in drag, Norah Vincent visited strip clubs and dated women to find out what it means to be a man. She ended up in the loony bin.

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  • Friday, January 20, 2006 10:14 AM

    great article

    written with great sensitivity and very well balanced between criticism and praise. Write more like it!

    On another note, holding ANY stranger's gaze for more than 10 seconds is going to discomfit them. If i do more than glance briefly and give an impersonal smile out of politeness (sometimes if I only do that) men take it as a serious invitation. Hell, I've had guys try to pick me up even when i barely do a polite head jerk. Very very annoying. All I'm trying to do is say "hello, the human being in me acknowledges the human being in you" but it turns into a sexual or dominance thing. If I looked at a woman in the eyes for ten seconds on the street I think she'd be a little weirded out; Like, what is SHE staring at. Western cultures put a big premium on direct eye contact and a firm handshake but i think that we forget that staring someone in the eye is a very aggressive act. It is, essentially, a dominance game that probably has very deep evolutionary roots. For example, in Japan it's considered rude to stare in someone's face and up until a few years ago, shaking hands was rather rude too.

    I have to say, I love having a strong handshake. Men (except really strong ones) can't squeeze my hands to pieces and I think that it gives me a bit of a psychological edge. I HATE the weak little dead fish handshakes that so many women (especially older women) give. I HATE it when guys shake my fingertips like some old-fashioned handshake.

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