Letters to the Editor

• The Husband is my kind of guy

  [Read the article: My husband shuts me down when I mention fine arts grad school]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  I think the LW has probably shortchanged her Husband in terms of explaining why he's so dead set against a MFA. But reading the letter, I can't but feel like the Husband, and my girlfriend the wife (minus the marriage, and the kids). My girlfriend has in the the past often brought going back to grad school to get a degree such as an MBA. And she probably has described my reaction as "shutting her down". I feel like I share similar attitude with the Husband. While I do have ungraduate degree, I find school on the most part pretty useless. I would want my kids to get an undergrad degree just because I think college is good place to grow up, and fairly or not people have come to expect a college degree as minimum requirement for a job. Even though a MFA and MBAs seem like polar opposites. They're not so different as they are both degrees that are nice but certainly not required for line of work/art. They are only one means to end and not an end on to itself. In reality, I don't think anybody who is actually capable, motivated, and talened needs to formally get a degree. So given that attitude, when my girlfriend has brought up getting a MBA (I work in industry that is populated by MBAs), I usually scoff at the idea not because I don't want her to pursue her dreams, but because I think it's the wrong way to go about it. That it's quite a bit of money and time that would be better spent elsewhere. If I were the LW's Husband and had 3 kids to support and take care of, I'd probably be even more dead set against the idea. As it is now, I just encourage my girlfriend to think of other means to get to her dreams (which is running a non-profit). It just sounds like the LWs husband need to be more positive rather than negative in terms of discussing the matter. I find the calls for divorce rather ridiculous. Do you divorce someone as soon as they disagree with you about how you should pursue somehting?

  Permalink Friday, January 13, 2006 08:10 AM

• call me the ethicist

  [Read the article: Our host reimbursed us for a theft in his house]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  There are number timing issues in regard to how everything unfolded. It's unclear from the letter if the parents were on Safari during the whole time (i.e., from the time of theft to the payment) or just away during the payment. I would be more sympathetic to the LW if it were the latter.

  I also place more of the burden on the LW rather than the BF. These are her family friends, not her BF's. Since the theft occured in their house, the family friends are justified in offering the BF repayment. However as a kind guest, he is obligated to refuse. The deus ex machina (i.e., the rich dad) should have offered to discreetly and invisibly to make the BF whole in some manner he can't refuse, i.e., offering him some bogus photography assignment.

  Of course everything has been thrown out of whack because the BF took the money and ran. That would certainly be the case if these "negotiations" took place purposely at a time the parents were away. If I were the Dad, I, too, would have been mortified at what happened. I agree with Cary, it's not about the money, but being a gracious guest, and the BF hasn't been that, which, indirectly, reflects upon the Dad. The BF, if he is truly this cash-strapped youth, should've been a good smart guest and asked his hosts to store the cash on his behalf somewhere in the house. Had this happened, and the money was still stolen, then the host should've offerd payment which the BF would be justified to take. However, as it was, the host was never truly given knowledge nor the responsibility of keeping $1,000 of cash lying on the ground safe.

  I do think there is more to the situation than meets the eye, and if anything, I feel like the LW writer is in some way too quick to defend her BF.

  Permalink Sunday, January 22, 2006 09:59 PM