Letters to the Editor
Mishima666
Published Letters: 125 Editor's Choice: 28
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I have a quaint idea.
[Read the article: I left an abuser, but now I'm with a married man]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]How about not having sex with someone who is married to someone else, unless it is absolutely CLEAR that the married relationship is done and over?
I don't doubt that the LW has had a very hard time. But one's personal hardship is no excuse for having an immoral relationship. The LW expects that the wife will move and live with her husband. So she's basically stabbing the wife in the back -- or more precisely, assisting the husband in stabbing his wife in the back. The fact that children are involved makes it worse.
The best thing that the LW can do is to recover a sense of morality and personal dignity and end the relationship NOW. Guilt is an appropriate feeling when one does something wrong. Repentance and a change of life is an appropriate response. Or have we reached a point in the modern "therapeutic" world in which morality is no longer a factor?
Ok, pick up the rocks and stone me. I'm ready.
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A very dangerous and sick indnvidual.
[Read the article: Pedophile blogger unfairly targeted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Whatever this evil fellow's stated intentions, he was providing information through the Internet to pedophiles around the world that can be used directly by them to rape and molest young girls -- who will suffer the consequences for years. "Hug" my ass. Anyone with a brain larger than a walnut knows exactly what this guy was up to. Internet or not, one way or another he's doing surveillance for his pedophile buddies. "No batteries" in his camera this time? Next time he'll have batteries, and maybe next time your daughter will be in the photo, while he and his depraved friends exchange high fives.
This fucker is EXTREMELY dangerous, and I hope the legal system will look for every possible way in the book to shut him down. I love the Constitution, but I'm not a Constitution fundamentalist, or any other kind of fundamentalist. At some point common sense and reality have to enter in. If he ends up being arrested on some technicality, so much the better. Hopefully he can be convicted of a crime. And if he ends up being murdered in prison -- well, life is hard, and if you're an evil son of a bitch, it's harder. Good riddance.
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Simple answer.
[Read the article: Lately I've been kissing women I'm not married to]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]When men aren't having sex, they want sex.
When they're having sex, they want variety. End of story, that's who men are. That's who I am.
It's the male animal instinct to spread one's DNA around as much as possible. Fortunately, we can choose not to be just animals but moral persons.
So what the LW needs to do is to choose to be a moral person. He needs to honor his commitment, his promise, to his wife. That is a sacred thing. We liberals don't talk much about the sacred, and that's too bad. But it's there nonetheless.
So the dude needs to ignore the "little head," and submit to the moral sensibility contained in the "big head." That's all there is to it, and once you get used to ignoring the demands of the "little head," the moral path is clear.
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There are many great parental disappointments
[Read the article: I'm a sexually active woman, but my Christian parents treat me like a child]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I don't know why it is, but many parents with good kids end up focusing on The One Big Disappointment. It may be premarital sex. It may be a rejection of the family religion. It may be the kid went into the wrong career. The kid marries the wrong person. Or the kid never did sports. (That was my case. Good kid, never got into trouble, no drugs, didn't smoke, didn't drink, decent student, did chores, but since I wasn't on one of the sports teams I was defective.)
So this thing of disappointments over premarital sex and lack of religion are two of a much larger set of potential disappointments that parents can focus on. As strange as it sounds, it's not something that the LW should take personally. It's not about her; it's about THEM.
So the LW should have a very direct conversation with them about that. It might go something like this:
"Mom, dad, you know I'm really a good person. I'm a good daughter. Thanks to your upbringing and your genes, I'm an intelligent person, a great student. I have a great future ahead of me. I'm not a criminal. I'm not a drug addict. I have various other virtues. So why is it important to you to continue to bring up issues related to sex and religion? You've made you position clear. I understand your position. But given all the positive things I've done, and will do, why is it important to you to continue to focus on these two things rather than on the many positive things that you could focus on? I understand your feelings, but I'm not going to change. What can I do to help you accept the person that I am, rather than insisting that I be someone I'm not? Many parents would be proud to have a daughter like me. Why aren't you?"
In other words, turn the tables. The issue is not the supposed defects of the daughter, but the inability of the parents to accept who she is, to rejoice in what she is, rather than hoping for something she is not and never will be.