The "English only" movement is just Americans' way of legitimizing their own laziness in not wanting to learn any other language. This is one of the very few places in the world where the majority of the population is not only monolingual, but also completely uninterested in making an effort to understand anybody else. Chalk that up to our physical isolation from the rest of the world, which makes it possible for Americans to fool themselves that they are not part of the world, but occupy some special place where it's not necessary to give a flying fuck about what goes on outside our borders. Pretty much everywhere else you go, it's common to know more than one language - if you don't, there's somebody right next to you who does.

But not us. Oh no. We're too good for that. Let everybody else learn our language (the one we've flattened out, dumbed down and fucked up almost beyond recognition). We can't be bothered to make any effort.

Well, let's see how long that lasts. With the way things have been going, I don't think it'll be very long before the rest of the world doesn't give a flying fuck about us. Then we'll have to crack open the Berlitz PDQ, I'd say.

That's all I have to say.

Not sure if you've heard about this, but perhaps you'll look into it and write up a column. I'm sure all of us would like to hear about the latest TSA indignity/horror in the offing:

From Blaque's Blog of Horrors (http://jblaque.livejournal.com/):

A senior government official with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has expressed great interest in a so-called "safety bracelet" (http://www.boingboing.net/2008/03/20/air-safety-proposal.html) that would serve as a stun device, similar to that of a police Taser®.

According to this promotional video at the Lamperd Less Lethal website (http://www.lamperdlesslethal.com/video_gallery.asp?video=http://www.lamperdlesslethal.com/video/EMDsafetybracelet.flv&title=), the bracelet would be worn by all airline passengers, and would:

• Take the place of an airline boarding pass

• Contain personal information about the traveler

• Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage

• Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes

The Electronic ID Bracelet, as it’s referred to, would be worn by every traveler “until they disembark the flight at their destination.”

Yes, you read that correctly. Every airline passenger would be tracked by a government-funded GPS, containing personal, private and confidential information, and could be used to shock the wearer worse than an electronic dog collar if he/she got out of line, completely immobilizing him/her if they get "out of line."

So.. is the U.S. government really that interested in this device?

Yes. According to a letter from DHS official, Paul S. Ruwaldt of the Science and Technology Directorate (http://www.lamperdlesslethal.com/news/upload/pg2HomelandSecurity7_06.pdf), office of Research and Development, to the inventor (whom he had previously met with), he wrote, “To make it clear, we [the federal government] are interested in…the immobilizing security bracelet, and look forward to receiving a written proposal.”

The letterhead, in case you were wondering, came from the DHS office (http://www.faa.gov/about/office_org/headquarters_offices/ato/tc/) at the William J. Hughes Technical Center at the Atlantic City International Airport, or the Federal Aviation Administration headquarters.

In another part of the letter (http://www.lamperdlesslethal.com/news/upload/pg1HomelandSecurity7_06.pdf), Mr. Ruwaldt confirmed, “It is conceivable to envision a use to improve air security, on passenger planes.”

Would every paying airline passenger flying on a commercial airplane be mandated to wear one of these devices? I cringe at the thought. Not only could it be used as a physical restraining device, but also as a method of interrogation, according to the same aforementioned letter from Mr. Ruwaldt.

Any thoughts, Patrick?

Well, considering that ever since September 11, 2001, the government's strategy has been to do exactly what the terrorists want every time, it seems likely to me that DHS will indeed adopt this technology. Then, as you say, the bad guys will just have to figure out how the thing works, and they'll be able to hold a plane for ransom pretty damn easily.

Personally, I hope they do adopt it. Since it would likely be the straw that breaks the camel's back for the majority of flyers, I figure it would be the end of the whole fucked-up pile of sewage that the commercial airline industry has become. Then perhaps we can build something sane and usable out of the wreckage.

Me, I've sworn off flying. There is no trip that is worth putting myself in the hands of these petty, tin-plated dictators. I'd rather take a vacation train to San Francisco than fly anywhere. Fuck 'em. Until sanity has been restored, I'm staying on the ground, and good riddance.

That's nice, dear. Why don't you go back under your bridge now? I think some goats will be coming along in a minute that you can hassle.