Letters to the Editor
fondlementalist
Published Letters: 24 Editor's Choice: 2
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You go, girls!
[Read the article: Women and their "girl crushes"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm a dude, and I absolutely, positively get man crushes.. all the time, every day. I get girl crushes too -- or, I should say, crushes on women who handle themselves well. I get infatuated at the drop of a hat when I see someone passing by with a certain smile .. and just as quickly as it came, it goes. I let go and go on. I'll be 32 in a few days (not old, I guess.. but old enough and getting there) and one of life's most pleasant surprises so far is that my jealousy and fear that there's not enough love to go around has fallen away. I love to see other people shine. That it no way takes away from my own, sometimes shimmering, countenance. I embrace my man crushes, and I don't mind (nor do I point them out unless it's funny and the dude is comfortable) when a fellow guy gets a crush on me. Not that this needs to be said (who cares?) but I'm very heterosexual ... I've only been with one woman (been with her since we were 14, oh young love.. my Capulet) in the Biblical sense, but I am very comfortable with my fantasy life and it ranges far and sticks toward the female form. Still, man crushes.. a good, positive and healthy thing. What would life be without hero worship? I'm happy to hear women get these too.
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So funny
[Read the article: My company wants me to move to California ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I rarely read Carey's advice.. I usually just skip to the letters, but since I'm the first poster this time, I skimmed his advice before posting. My advice before checking his was: don't go, don't go, don't go. Just don't go. I'm a native California who currently lives in Atlanta, but that has nothing to do with my advice. It's just all wrong for you to move for so many reasons, period. Stay put.
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Some people have all the luck
[Read the article: Can a fractured friendship be renewed?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I asked the universe for a ham sandwich once. I'm still waiting for the universe to deliver it.
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WTF?
[Read the article: The dominatrix]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I guess Obama was wrong. It's going to work "this time" too.
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To the LW
[Read the article: I fell for a younger guy and now my head is spinning]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I just went through something somewhat similar with a few differences. It doesn't have to end disastrously -- but it does have to end. You need to decide what it is you want and stick with that decision.
If you want to stay married and be a good mother to your children, you need to cut it off with the lad. Despite what others seem to think, there is a chance he'll respect you enough to just let this go. There's also a chance your husband will be understanding enough to forgive you. My wife and I have been together since high school too -- I've noticed we have a stronger friendship foundation to our relationship than many other marriages .. it comes with the territory of growing up together I think. He might feel betrayed as a husband, but he may be sympathetic as a friend.
The poster who said it takes about six to eight weeks to detox had it about right. The first month is hard; the second is easier. After that comes the guilt -- and there's lots of it --and the decreased self esteem that comes with the knowledge that you're capable of acting so selfishly. You may be prolonging the relationship to delay dealing with the withdrawl symptoms, but I suggest you just wake up and go back to acting rationally. If you can't logically see a future with this guy or a happy future as a single mother, buck up and do what has to be done.
Let the boy off gently -- he's too young to realize the extent of his crime, and he's not the one who vowed eternal fidelty. If you break it with him in a way that respects his feelings, there's a good chance he won't betray your trust.