Lots of dissent on Cary's thoughts here, but they're all in the wrong. LW knows exactly what she has to do. There is no question that she has to confront her boss and reconcile this conflict. There is also no question that she is probably going to have to find another job, people like her boss rarely mend their ways, even after being confronted.

This letter isn't about sexual harassment, or even about her job, it's about her place in the world. I hear Cary speaking of passing, of wearing masks to survive in society, the workplace, life. Gay men understand these things on an intuitive level. Those of us who are out of the closet have to come out every day of our lives. Every morning we dress, and while dressing have to avoid cloaking ourselves, avoid hiding ourselves behind the comfortable masks of 'passing.'

LW doesn't give a lot about herself in her letter, which is shocking. Look how detailed the letter is, how much of her experiences are there, but almost nothing about herself truly. Even her words act as her masks. Trickster is right, but I would challenge her to know herself before becoming a trickster. The path of the trickster is one of lessons for you and everyone around you, but if you don't learn them first, you can't properly teach them to others.

Know thyself above all things, remove your masks, at least when you look in the mirror.

Cary has given the LW great advice. She should talk to an expert lawyer about her situation and make certain that she seeks help in understanding why she has let herself be victimized.

That said, I'm a true idealist. Assuming this man was truly an employee of the company in question, the company is responsible for his actions while he is on the job. Don't accept anything from them. Allowing them to pay you off is the equivalent of justifying their choice in hiring goons, con-artists, and grifters to manipulate their market. By paying you off this company loses some money, but gains public acknowledgement of their 'virtue,' which should rightfully be very much in question.

Instead, decline the payoff. Don't let yourself be hungry for the sawdust they offer you. Talk to the lawyer. Write everything about your experience down. In detail. Write it several times. Make it a story. Make it so real that you understand every facet of it fully. Send your story to local news organizations. Send it to national organizations, and to news organizations where this company does business. Post it on a website. Find similar stories about this company and help protect other people from becoming their victims.

Do not reward their bad choices. Take actions that will make it more difficult for this company to victimize people in the future. Not only will you make a difference, you will help protect other people from them. Further, you will help to reverse the damage that you have done to your children by showing your cowardice. Show your children that you can stand up for yourself, and take real, definite, idealistic action to better your situation and the situation of your community.