If you live close to a big city, I think you can stay where you are. If not, and it's really stultifying for you, and you have no like minded people around, I think it would be beneficial to find such people for mutual support and enlightenment, which may entail moving. I think you learn much more from your friends who are seriously doing art than teachers in school. That said, I think you and your boyfriend both should change your lives. Here's a suggestion, you both train to do something that entails taking care of people, nurse, nurse's aid, early childhood teaching, that way you don't feel you are wasting your time when you are working, and you are doing something that will teach you about life and things you can use in your art. Then you set up a schedule where you work on your art every other day for at least three hours. The other days focus on yourself, your health, getting the right skills, jobs, living situation. If this boyfriend is as good as you say, then you ought to do what you can to help each other, you can help him get on his feet and vice versa. Two are stronger than one. Let's be serious, it would not be right for him to walk away from his child. Then you look around for opportunities to show your artwork, even if you have to create them yourself -- put up your work in the local restaurants, stage your play in the local bar, anything like that. Then see how it goes and take it from there. It is hard in the city, no question. It could be good for you there or it might not be -- but if you live nearby you have some great advantages without a lot of the crushing expenses. You may or may not make it as an artist, but if you work at it you will definitely find a way to incorporate your own creativity into your life and other people's in a way that is can be very beneficial for everyone concerned...

A few things, LW:

The main thing: the good feelings and the good times were real, but the way you felt came from within you. So you can feel those ways again. You've got it in you and you can have it again, in the future, once you recuperate from this experience.

The internet and long distance relationships: it's turning out that over time we see this kind of thing often in internet relationships, sudden abandonoment without explanation. Don't know why, but it seems that (I think primarily men) feel that a relationship begun on the internet can be ditched without explanation. I think especially men over the age of 51 or so, who were brought up very rigidly, about the right and wrong way romance and sex works, and no matter how they may have rebelled against their upbringing since, it still affects them deeply, though they might never admit it.

Another internet phenom: I have had a number of wonderful correspondence and phone relationships that seemed like we had a lot going, but meeting in person, it didn't work, or at least not enough to pull up stakes and move immediately so we could be near each other. I think this may be because without the ongoing, organic personal contact, there is time and space for a tremendous amount of projection, and there is distance and insulation from witnessing and dealing with everyday life idiosyncracies and so forth that you deal with incrementally when having more personal contact with people from the start. If you get into any more internet relationships in the future, insist on meeting very soon and really try to find out about the person in depth, even if it seems intrusive, before getting emotionally involved. Their relationship history, family, state of current relationships, everyday life, meet their friends, relatives, etc., because that is what you have to do with internet relationships. It's only at the very beginning of the relationship that you have a choice about your emotional involvement.

Also, most people with children or over the age of 30 can't afford to pull up stakes for a long distance relationship. There are the bottom line practicalities to consider. If you live in a place where it's unlikely you will meet someone right for you, you may have to consider pulling up stakes and moving to a place where there are more people around, and choices.

And last but not least: this guy was a classic Abandoner. Look up Susan Anderson's work on the internet, just Google "abandonment" -- there is a lot known about this dynamic and how it works, and how to recover from being abandoned. It is truly devastating, and you need to get support from people who really know how to help you. The rejection is devastating, and it can feel like it's not worth it even trying again, but as Cary says, the good things did happen, they were real. But I say, in this case, they came mostly from inside you, and you have to now find a worthy place to put those valuable things.