Letters to the Editor
chiefdeputy
Published Letters: 132 Editor's Choice: 7
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Stoicism is not helping
[Read the article: My business trip ended with me in four-point restraints!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I don't know why being a few blocks away on 9/11 made you afraid to fly. Why not afraid of tall buildings? The human mind is fascinating.
Anyway, I see this all the time in my line of work: people take tranquilizers or other serious prescription meds, mix it with alcohol, and then have a "traumatic experience." They don't remember what led them to their dealings with mergency persoannel (cops and emts), don't recall kicking and threatening and acting crazy, and want to blame the police and medical people for treating them like a crazy person.
You obviously behaved like a crazy person, out of control. You didn't know what had happened to get you where you were, you obviously weren't following instructions, and you were hysterical. Your husband couldn't understand you. You were on drugs and alcohol. Of course they couldn't just let you go, or let you stay at the airport. A hospital was the only place for you, and your behavior GOT WORSE after that.
It could have been worse - I'm surprised you weren't arrested or involuntarily committed to a hospital for 72 hrs. To answer your question, yes, you are a "crazy person" - you need psychiatric help to deal with all of your "traumas", fears and phobia. It has affected your ability to work - you need to get into treatment immediately. Your "ritual" of miss-using prescription drugs and alcohol did not work. What more of a wake up call do you need? Get specialized psychiatric help today.
You want to claim that you are stoic, you want to blame others for this situation (you looked into lawsuits, blame your boss even though you accepted the job that required travel). You need to admit that you are the problem, and you need help. Only then will you get better.
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Good and bad advice here
[Read the article: I'm almost 23 and still afraid of sex]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The LW definitely needs a better therapist, and the recommendations for a PTSD specialist are spot on. But these posters on here saying that sex isn't all that great, etc. are in need of a therapist as well. Sex is great, including but not limited to when you are 23 years old.
The LW is missing out, suffering anxiety and probably messing up a lot of her relationships with unwitting partners who do not know that she wants to have sex with them but cannot. All they know is she acts like she wants to, and then has a panic attack. She needs to communicate honestly and better with these would-be partners until she gets healthy.
This is fixable, and she needs to fix it for a lot of reasons.
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He's told you
[Read the article: Will my boyfriend ever want kids and marriage?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]over and over that he isn't going to ask you to marry him anytime soon and doesn't want kids. Maybe he's just immature, but probably it is deeper than that. Most people with those deep feelings really mean it, and even if they think they have changed their minds and get married and have kids, deep down they still mean it. I knew several guys like him when I was 26. Every one of them later got married, had at least 1 child, and then got divorced. They really didn't want to get married or have kids, and they should have listened to their 26 year old selves.
You should listen to him.
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another thought
[Read the article: Will my boyfriend ever want kids and marriage?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I used to say (and believe) that I didn't want to have kids. Turns out I really meant that I hadn't met anyone I wanted to have a child with. When I met my wife, my thoughts on having kids changed a lot.
Whether he may eventually have children does not matter - he is saying clearly that he doesn't want to have kids WITH YOU. That should be enough for you to move on.
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Please
[Read the article: I went to L.A. to work in film and just got yelled at]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Should I become a jew, take a YEAR to go backpacking in thailand (and thereby somehow become a jew), OR just move in with my parents? Ha Ha Ha! Anyone want to bet on which of the 3 has any chance of happening?
I hope this letter is a fake - does this girl have any training or education in film, does she have ANY skills to offer a film company other than being an entry-level gopher? "I quit the film industry since they wouldn't let me be in charge, yelled at me, and don't share my values"?
"I want to become jewish so I can hope for a proposal from this great jewish guy I just broke up with, but I'm conflicted because I'm a polytheist."
If you are real, please grow up. If you can't, there's nothing more childish than living with your parents.
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Spare your kids
[Read the article: My whole family is alcoholic. How to protect the kids?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My parents moved across the country from my dad's family. I saw my grandmother exactly once in my entire life. She sent me gifts, I sent thank yous, and thought of her fondly. I don't feel like I missed anything. As an adult, I learned through family tales how wretched she could be. I never experienced that, and for that I am grateful.
Do not expose your kids to her anymore. It's hard but simple.
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Realize they aren't enjoying it
[Read the article: I'm secretly addicted to porn]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Since you like it so much, check into the porn world and learn that the women are not enjoying themselves. They have to take drugs to get through it. At first they will claim they love sex and love the industry, but even a little prodding will get them to cry and admit that it is horrible, demeaning, etc. Most are victims of childhood sexual abuse. Think about that for awhile, and maybe you'll stop comparing them to your girlfriend.
I don't think guys that watch porn are bad or that there is anything wrong with them, but if it affects your life and impairs your real-life relationships, then you have a problem. If realizing that the women you are masturbating to have suffered and are suffering doesn't upset you and snap you out of this, you need to break it off with your girlfriend and decide to either continue on your pathetic way or get some help.