Letters to the Editor
chiefdeputy
Published Letters: 139 Editor's Choice: 7
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Idiots
[Read the article: My husband of 12 years suddenly says he never loved me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]These comments are idiotic. "Get him to stay" - for "at least a year"? What world do you live in? You can't make him stay. You can ask him to, but he won't, and if he does you'll be so miserable you'll wish you'd never asked.
And no, you can't "make" him take some of the kids. You can negotiate custody through the divorce, but you are not going to go into a hearing before the judge and say "I want my husband to take these 3 kids and let me keep the other two." I suppose if both sides told the judge they don't want the kids, the judge might give them each a few to deal with, but that isn't going to happen. The court will want to keep the kids together unless you 2 can agree otherwise ahead of time. She's going to get the kids, he's going to be stuck with child support and weekend visits.
Why do people refuse to think about the future when they start and continue having kids? if you can't bear to think of your man leaving you, consider what happens if he dies. You and your 5 kids are now going to suffer for your choices, which are the only choices you can ever control.
Get him to leave, file for divorce and stay in the marital residence with your kids for as long as you can.
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Laurel 962
[Read the article: My husband of 12 years suddenly says he never loved me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"Smallish child support payment"? Are you kidding? 5 kids under the age of 10? There won't be anything "smallish" about that one. I stopped reading your windy post after that credibility-destroying comment.
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You changed the rules, she probably won't follow them
[Read the article: I want more commitment from my married girlfriend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It sounds like you 2 are on different levels for what you want out of this relationship. It probably started as a mutual affair where you both liked each other, understood eachother, had fun together and enjoyed having sex together. Now you want more, and she's still in the "fun affair" mode. If you demand more, the affair will likely end. Neither of you signed on for more, but you changed and want more. It's over, you just don't know it yet.
Also, I think it's a little obnoxious to attack the LW for being involved with a married woman. Half of marriages end in divorce, and marriages are falling apart all around you. Limiting your options to lovers who are single or legally divorced is simply foolish - is this harping based on religion, bitterness from past experience, or what? There are letters every week here about terrible spouses where commenters trash the terrible spouse mercilessly. Do all of those LW's have to wait for their divorce papers to seek love? The LW owes LW's husband nothing. The "other man" or the "other woman" in an affair is never the problem.
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Blogs
[Read the article: King Kaufman's Sports Daily]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It seemed like most of the costas show "evidence" came by way of the anonymous "comments" sections of the blogs. I'll admit I hate much of that aspect of the internet (people get to anonymously post attacks and rumors on people in the online version of my local paper, which is bullshit) - but it's hard to get worked up about sports fans and their postings.
In reality, the sports blogs and their commenters are funny and do mock athletes and those who cover them, and I say hooray! There is nothing worse than the high-minded sports "journalist" preaching about purity or literature or whatever. Give me a break. Well written, serious pieces on sports are great whether they appear on blogs, newspapers or espn. That doesn't mean that sports coverage must always be serious and uplifting, or that the garbage sports columnists often crank out is better or more worthy than blog pieces simply because they appear in a newspaper. Have you seen the cbs sportline columns online? They are porrly written and usually completely useless. I'd rather read a guy called "balls deep" calling Sean Salsbury a douchebag any day.
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Drop out? Move out?
[Read the article: I'm completely irresponsible and I live at home mooching off my parents]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Are you kidding? The parents are paying for everything! Take advantage and get your degree now while someone else is paying for it! Endure mom & dad and whatever else you must endure to finish your degree as soon as possible. Then you can get a job, move out, and be a grown up.
The LW is extremely immature, and there will be plenty of time to grow up, find out what he wants, be independent, etc, AFTER he has his free degree. Unbelieveable.
I also worked as a janitor in college. 40 hrs a week, year round because my parents paid for nothing and I could only get small scholarships. I didn't get weekends off, or holidays, or summers, or spring break. I rode the bus or walked everywhere.
In the meantime, work on growing up a little. I do not understand why you feel you have to quit school, get a crappy job and a crappy place of your own in order to decide your major or start contributing to your own future.
or maybe you should just quit and move out. The world needs ditch diggers too.
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Are you a pod person?
[Read the article: I'm really a self-actualized being, but my family is all messed up]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Your wife is drinking and having outbursts because you are in la la land. You think everything is great, your son will have no problems now that you've decided to take it seriously, etc. Meanwhile, your wife is trying to deal with reality with no help from you (by the way, a "california roll" has avacado - you bought the wrong thing).
Take responsibility for your household, and more importantly, take ACTION. Personal, individual action - effort on your part. Go to therapy with your son, implement what the therapist tells you to, take your wife to pick out a kitten at the local shelter, have a beer with her and then do something else with her so she doesn't overdo it, etc.
Self-actualized does not mean "I have everything that I want." Assuming you are not completely in denial and ignoring your family's needs, make some effort to bring your family up to your level of satisfaction.