She won't drink or smoke and certainly doesn't do drugs! But her father, my grandfather, was an alcoholic and after she married a carbon copy of him it sort of made her want to stay right away from that sort of thing. Which is fine, it's her choice. However where I have the problem is that she then uses her choices as a weapon to bludgeon the rest of us into thinking and acting like her. And that is what I think the LW is doing. I mean, if it's at the stage where you can't sleep just because your girlfriend tried drugs once there are some serious control issues going on here.

She might be a little old to be succumbing to peer pressure (though I too think that was an excuse to mollify you). However, she has made the decision to try it. If there's nothing to suggest she's done it since or is planning to again you should LET IT GO. Is she a good person? Does she love you? Do you love her? All much more important questions. Relationships are always about balance and compromise. Have you been forgiven for a mistake in the past? Trust me, that day *will* come and you would want to hope that you've got someone flexible on the forgiving end.

If there is some sort of deep-seated trauma like my aunt went through that has given you this aversion I suggest you get to work on it asap. You've got to stop believing that your choices are always the right one for others or you could end up like my aunt...alone.

The message being passed is that if you dislike drugs you're uncool. It's more that he's letting his girlfriend's choices annoy him so much.

I don't like drugs either and I don't like alcoholism but I realise they're a part of life. There's no evidence that the girlfriend is even an habitual user, let alone an addict so it just smacks of a control problem to me. And wanting to control the life of another is definitely uncool!

As I'm from Australia where schools that don't have a uniform are the exception rather than the rule. It doesn't matter whether there's a uniform or not, girls who want to look slutty will generally manage it anyway.

However, that said I don't like the idea of companies and parents making it that much easier for them.

As a feminist myself (no, it's true!) I see your issue with using words like 'slutty.' I actually used it in an earlier post. I've even posted about how I have issues with women using these words to each other!

However, after racking my brains I couldn't think of anything else to convey my point. I could have said "If girls want to look like they enjoy and are willing to offer easy going, promiscuous sex with many young men without the need for emotional attachment then they will." Takes a little more time no? There are also terms like slutty in use for men. Heck, I've even called men sluts in my day. I've also called them dogs, pigs... all sorts of other swears as well.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you can't always view what is said as an outright attack on women. I would NEVER, like so many young women today, use those words as a form of address. That legitimises the words and makes it ok for others to use them - which directly affects our cause as women. And I don't like young women dressing provocatively if they're just following the crowd. If you want to dress like that no problem but when it gets to the stage where you're doing it to solely incite the lusts of men that's a bit sad.

I'm yet again going to reference my favourite feminist book of the last few years: 'Female Chauvinist Pigs' by Ariel Levy. It examines this exact problem.

I used to deal with a lot of troubled mothers who would have (if they'd been earning enough) been paying child support for the children the fathers were raising. If the law is not being applied equally then that's a system failing, not a failing of the feminist ideology. I'm looking at YOU with that one anonymous.

Besides, I wouldn't want to be associated with anyone (feminist or non-feminist) who wouldn't want a child raised by the best person for the job whether it be the mother, father or someone entirely different.

I read that article about women not being funny, though I struggled to get through it because of its inherent ridiculousness.

I still can't believe that women like Nora Ephron et al would actually give this moron the time of day. If a man rang me up and said 'Hey, women aren't funny! Care to elaborate why?' he'd get my dead on impersonation of a dial tone.

It's women participating in this sort of childish generalisation that make things harder for the rest of us. These constant stereotypes that we battle against - women are nurturing, caring, non-confrontational, non-aggressive etc etc etc. should not be perpetuated by women who have obviously had to be at least a little bit the opposite to succeed. I even heard the old chestnut *in this very column* about how women wouldn't start wars! Umm, Margaret Thatcher anyone?