Letters to the Editor
DeeMom
Published Letters: 57 Editor's Choice: 2
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Problem with porn...
[Read the article: Is my 13-year-old son gay?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Many posts have been very neutral about the fact that this CHILD was accessing porn. When he is an adult, he can choose to use/not use porn. In the meantime, the parents need to parent him.
My issue with porn, in general, is that it limits the sexual imagination. I think that this is especially harmful to young people. When I caught my teen with (hetero) porn, I explained my view that sex is a dance and porn is instruction of a very limited type. We cannot understand dancing (as a general construct) by watching people do the minuete over and over. Porn reinforces scripts that are boring. I also was very blunt with him about my feelings, as a woman, about the images of women in porn. Young men who expect a shaved pussy and bowling ball boobs are apt to be disappointed in their female partner. This argument can be used to discuss gay porn, as well.
I do not believe that porn gives young people a peek at the "real world" of adult sexuality.
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Accept porn?
[Read the article: Is my 13-year-old son gay?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Sure, GaYTheist, I will accept porn -
FOR ADULTS.
(And I was not "whining"...)
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Doh!
[Read the article: How safe is the HPV vaccine?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I COULDN'T LET THIS ONE SLIDE.
Laurel said:
"My interpretation is that a single exposure from a single partner is not enough, you must be exposed to different strains of the virus REPEATEDLY over a period of time."
Well, thank you, Doctor Laurel for your clueless interpretation of a comment that was likely about incidence. Of course(!), someone who sleeps around would be MORE LIKELY to acquire any STD. Your "viral stew" theory is simply ignorant.
Back to Science 101 for you!!!
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Chasing your tail...
[Read the article: Should I stay in my marriage?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]So many people have hit on this: LW seems to think that he will blossom into the *arteeest* that he "knows" he is, if only he can get these people out of his hair.
LW: if you were all that, you'd be all that now. These "people" are not standing in your way; you are.
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Friends & family
[Read the article: Am I an alcoholic?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LW: if you are crabby with your kids, you are crabby with everyone.
Some have suggested that Wino Mom is isolating herself at home. I wonder whether the invitations are just drying up.
I wanted to share that this letter reads as if written by a woman I know - once a dear friend, now a distant acquaintance. Her habits mirror the LW's. It has been my choice to end this friendship of nearly a decade. She has just gotten too odd to deal with. She is rude and unfair with her extended family. She is a conspiracy theorist at work. The more hung-over she appears, the louder she complains. There is nothing for me in the friendship, anymore.
Others have written this: People do notice!
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The "Step" relationship...
[Read the article: My girlfriend's stepfather is a real a-hole ... and a dying man]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have a grown step-daughter whom I absolutely ADORE. Having her live with us, as an adult, would be incredibly stressful - family illness or no. And having any of her friends, lovers, or associates HANG OUT at "her place" (my home, fer chrissakes!) would make me lose my frackin' mind.
LW - do this poor, dying man a favor & meet your lady-love at Starbucks.
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Dial It Down?
[Read the article: My new assistant laughs at everything I say]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Ooh, to take this woman aside and correct her mannerisms is awful advice. She is obviously nervous. Correcting her will not work. She will respond by becoming more awkward or by deciding that you are the devil. ("Boss just hates me for no reason! Using me to feel superior!")
You can model the calm professionalism that you wish to see. If she is loud, try speaking quieter, still. It wouldn't hurt to say, "I didn't mean that in a humorous way", but please, don't shame her.
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15 year olds
[Read the article: Mom's a pothead]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Yes, they are judgmental. They are also very needy, in a "right now" way. They will do their own thing for days, then suddenly need alot of attention. This doesn't bode well for Stoner Mom's ability to respond. Another thing teens do is slip into hyper-chatty drive at night. If Stoner Mom is fresh into a big buzz in the evening, poor kid.
I hate D.A.R.E. and I am pro-legalization, but I can see the kid's point IF (big if) the situation is one in which he feels neglected. LW should ask Mom if she can talk to the kid. If he feels neglected, LW can promise to relate this to Mom. If kid is just being a bossy little meanie, it may do him good to hear "Auntie" point out that Mom is only human.
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Equity
[Read the article: Moms prefer to work part time, so why don't they?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]To digress to JulieBird & the adjunct track: I am also a parent & part-timer. We can criticize the system without damning your participation (or mine).
It is a CRIME that universities take advantage of part-timers (a great many women). The pay scale is such that I could teach a full class load both semesters (8-10 classes) and make less than $22K, with no benefits. They do this because they can get away with it. Period. It's just as bad as the the fast food places...
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Babytender
[Read the article: My roommate bounces my cats the wrong way]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If roomie has been a professional baby wrangler, she knows more than LW does about the dangers of tot-shaking. It is fairly evident that the cats are not bothered by this, fairly evident that roomie is replicating her (safe!) baby-handling behaviors. BTW: I had one cat that loved to lounge in my arms like a baby and another one that would have NONE of that. Cats are really great about communicating their views. Unless roomie has Kitty by the hind legs and is whirling him about - chill!
LW is going to be a very lonely person is she can't get a grip. Off to therapy with you, LW!
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Hey Cat-Mom,
[Read the article: My roommate bounces my cats the wrong way]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Does your own mother, the therapist for brain-injured patients, talk about her work, alot? Could this feed your obsession? Just an idea...
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Two more -
[Read the article: Baby branding]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A doctor friend delivered a baby Ahriola (pronounced like "areola").
My child goes to school with Rayellchel.