I thought it was hysterical that you took the trouble to steer readers to a website that listed your community organizer's "accomplishments" and then asked what has Governor Palin accomplished. You were actually comparing the top of the Democratic ticket to the bottom of the Republican ticket -- imagine that. And you didn't even think twice. My God, he really has you folks frothing at the mouth. It's delicious to watch.

On the contrary, according to Bob Schieffer on this morning's Early Show: "I am told that the way McCain got involved in this (the bailout negotiations) in the first place, the Treasury Secretary was briefing Republicans in the House yesterday, the Republican conference, asked how many were ready to support the bailout plan. Only four of them held up their hands. Paulson then called, according to my sources, Senator Lindsey Graham, who is very close to John McCain, and told him: you've got to get the people in the McCain campaign, you've got to convince John McCain to give these Republicans some political cover. If you don't do that, this whole bailout plan is going to fail. So that's how, McCain, apparently, became involved."

I think that says it all, Joan. Although I also find it thoroughly amusing that what you refer to as a "stunt" is defined as "calling on Obama to cancel Friday's debate" -- rather than defining it as McCain choosing to get involved in one of the worst economic crises in our nation's history, with postponing the debate as a minor consequence. It speaks volumes about the order of priorities rattling around in your cavernous noggin.

You also said, "It makes McCain look cowardly, like he's not ready to mix it up with Obama." Uh-huh. I guess that's why McCain has been after Obama to share the stage with him in an extended series of townhall meetings for months. With Obama ducking him all the while. Funny, but that doesn't sound like a man who's "not ready to mix it up with Obama" to me. In fact, I'm sure he can't wait to devour Obama once The One is finally forced to speak without his inamputable teleprompter.

As for, "Obama's up by 9 points in today's ABC News/Washington Post poll, an 11-point swing in just a week." Perhaps you should return to earth and take a closer look at that poll, Joan. Because its internals show that 54% of its respondents were self-identified Dem and 38% of its respondents were self-identified Republicans -- a sixteen-point advantage for the Dems among registered voters. So I hope you didn't spend your entire morning salivating over that one.

But fear not, if you're up for a quick reality check, you might want to peruse today's Gallup Poll, which has the candidates tied at 46%. Cheers.

The harder you try to make your rap serious, the easier it is to see you're delirious.

Because I, and anyone who suffers through your tedious and nescient comments, have undoubtedly noticed that you never actually respond to the repartee at hand. Instead, you engage in some cherubic form of convoluted banter that makes you look like a Sean "P. Diddy" Combs clone addressing a U.N. assembly and thinking you're actually doing it smartly. But perhaps that's a bad example, because the U.N. junta, of course, would simply look at each other and nod as if you were making sense.

So lot's of luck with that rhyming thing, bucko. A plethora of uninformed thirteen-year-olds are sure to be lining up at your puerile door. Call me when you graduate from the Kiddie table. Or when you move out of your mother's basement. I'm not fussy -- whatever comes first.

Klytus, dear, dear boy. I can't imagine you're more than twenty years young. But if you're any older than that, then I'm afraid you're a very, very sad case indeed. And, therefore, you have my sincere condolences in regard to the way you were raised and/or the values you imbibed. Because when I was twenty years young, my friend, I found that my biggest challenge was how I'd get through a night of hand-to-hand combat with the Viet Cong... and not... well... how to make my uniquely awkward prose rhyme.

Forgive me, but if I were you, I'd seriously consider hiring a sherpa to take you up to that stratoscopic point in the mountain where normal people only begin to start their ascension toward actual knowledge. In the meantime, you'll forgive me if I decline to exchange any further "dialogue" with you.

PS: Sherpa: A member of a traditionally Buddhist people of Tibetan descent living on the southern side of the Himalaya Mountains in Nepal and Sikkim who have achieved world renown as expert guides on Himalayan mountaineering expeditions.

Ahhh, youth. So disappointing.

My mountain was a merely metaphor, grasshopper. A metaphor for one's climb to knowledge.

Ahhh, youth. So disappointing. So much to learn.

I'm sure you're a good guy, FaulknerJr.

Let me share something Winston Churchill said with you.

"If you're not liberal when you're young, you have no heart. If you're not conservative when you're old, you have no brain."

Life is an evolution.

Can you imagine how Todd and Bristol Palin felt watching that? Nevermind the rest of the Palin family. I'm sure if they had done an incest skit about Obama and his daughters, you would have been outraged. So why no outrage here, Joan?

Incest is a joke? Oh, I see. Yes, you're right. it's a regular laugh riot, isn't it?

Why would you think that is funny?

I'm not changing focus, Faulkner. I'm right on topic, responding to the very first line of Joan's article, in which she talks about Tina Fey and SNL. And I really don't need you to thank me for my service anymore than I need you to refer to me as a "combat fatigue syndrome-addled person."