Clinton had high ratings because the economy was roaring during his tenure and everybody was enjoying it. But Clinton was simply lucky. He happened to take office at the same moment the technology industry began to skyrocket -- a phenomenon that lasted till 1999. The technology sector created all those jobs, not Slick Willie, although you can be sure he'll continue to take credit for it. If George H.W. Bush had been re-elected, the same thing would have happened.

10. Nap in private.

9. Fix up Chelsea's room -- just the way it was.

8. Put a whoppie cushion under Hillary’s Oval Office chair.

7. Wag his finger at the White House Chef for not taking snacktime seriously.

6. Teach young staffers how to smoke pot without inhaling.

5. Track down former first feline “Socks” and reinstate him.

4. Run a free dry cleaning service for interns, with blue-dress specials every Wednesday.

3. Contract a Caucasian strain of vitiligo and literally turn into first black president.

2. Become a contestant on “So You Think You Can Dance“ with Obama as the only judge.

And the number one thing Bill Clinton can do to pass time in the White House is:

1. Sleep between every couple he rents out the Lincoln bedroom to.

THAT's exactly how much respect Slick Willie has for the black vote. He takes the huge Obama victory there and completely marginalizes it. He might as well have said, "Obama won because he's black. Black men always win here." And then Hillary didn't even bother having the grace to give a concession speech. You see, in Hillaryland, if you're not going to help her cause, she's done with you. Time to move on.

Billary just bitch-slapped black voters. The African-American community should be incensed. I hope this serves as a catalyst for minorities everywhere to rise up against the Clinton machine -- and for thinking white progressives from coast to coast to join them.

"Still, Ted Kennedy has his own baggage, and I'm not referring to vicious right-wing talking points, just his long association with a certain kind of old-fashioned liberalism..."

So if these are the two neat little compartments that comprise Ted Kennedy's baggage, please enlighten me, Joan -- which compartment does this tidbit fit into:

On July 17th, 1969, after a night of drinking with young blonde campaign worker Mary Jo Kopechne, Ted Kennedy drunkenly drove his car off a bridge, extricated himself, and left Miss Kopechne behind to die in the waters underneath the Edgartown, Massachusetts, Bridge. Miss Kopechne, trapped inside Kennedy's Oldsmobile, gasped for air until she finally died (some medical experts saying two and one-half hours later). Meanwhile, Teddy rushed back to his family's compound to formulate the best alibi he could think of. He didn't report the accident until 10 hours afterwards.

So, Joan, was Teddy's behavior in this incident just one of many "vicious right-wing talking points" or was it "just his long association with a certain kind of old-fashioned liberalism?"

Leave it to Joan to devote a column to "help" remind us that Obama's mother was white. She might as well have said, "Look, everyone, Obama isn't a black man at all." Geeze, Joan, could your advocacy of the Hildabeast possibly be more transparent?

"I can't believe McCain is continuing to claim that Romney backed a timetable or a deadline for withdrawing troops from Iraq."

As I watched the debate last night and saw John McCain bent over, reading the Romney quote from his liitle cheat sheet (and focusing on the misleading half of it), I couldn't help thinking that he looked like Mr. Potter from "It's a Wonderful Life." There he was, delighting in his duplicity, thinking himself so very clever. Meanwhile, anyone with half a brain knew he was telling Americans an outright lie.

I think the "Straight-Talk Express" ran off the highway and into a ditch for all America to see last night. And because of it, people really began to feel for Romney. He emerged as a true gentlemen, at the very least. What's more -- I really thought he was very much on his game -- and looked especially dapper simply by sitting next to crotchety old Mr. Potter.

Count Romney down, but not at all out.

So according to you, the fact that John McCain was imprisioned and tortured in a POW camp for five years doesn't count because he might not have suffered as badly as some army grunt. And for this reason, you've decided that John McCain's heroism now belongs in quotes in order to emphasize that he's really NOT a war hero after all.

I see.

Well, always nice chatting with people from outer space, but I really need to return to earth now.

I'd hardly call that an attack. More like a bemused take on Garry Owens' bizarre post. And "Virtue" is a pretty tame moniker in this neck of the woods, don't you think?

Welcome to New York, Tom Brady. Here's your perfect season -- right here.

I couldn't agree with Mike Barnicle more. How Joan interprets this as a statement designed to "dance on Hillary's grave" is a rather transparent testament to her dogged (or should I say lap dog) support of the Hildabeast.

On whether or not Hillary's strongly-worded letter to MSNBC was meant to get David Shuster fired, Joan tells us:

"...others also read her [Hillary's] letter that way [to get Shuster fired], though I didn't..."

Surprise, surprise. Joan takes Hillary's side again. Who could have seen that one coming?

It will be interesting to see if Joan stays by Hillary's side when the Billary machine goes into the convention behind Obama in delegate votes, then uses backroom tactics with superdelegates to steal the nomination away from him. Because THAT"S when everyone will smell the overwhelming stench of Billary in full.

You mean the government might catch me placing a bet on a Pistons game while they're hot on the tail of some Islamofascist trying to smuggle a nuclear bomb into Washington DC?

THE HORROR!!!